Red, White & Black-n-Blue

Look! Over There! Is That Hockey Season?!?!

2011-10-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

Like any fabulous and fashionable celebrity guest, I'm arriving late for the party. Along with my entourage of toadying fans, slavish hangers-on, and arrogant upstarts (read: my dogs), we (read: me and my tapeworm) are just tickled pink to be back to doing what we do best (read: slacking off, lazing around, and ditching anything remotely resembling being constructive). So in preparation for tonight's exciting match-up vs. the undefeated Washington Capitals, here's the super-condensed Red, White & Black-n-Blue summary of the season so far:

Game 1: Season opener at home against Ottawa. OTT 3 - DET 5

The Wings surged to an early lead, sucked on the PP, and squandered the 5-0 tally during the 3rd in a scene reminiscent of... oh... all of last season by playing as if we didn't really need to worry until, oh look, they have 3 goals. How the hell did that happen? Thankfully, we held on largely do to the performance of our bottom 2 lines and our top defensive pairing, both of whom manged to get their names on the scoreboard.

Game 2: DET 3 - COL 0

Conks rocked the block, earning the first shutout of the season and giving Jimmy the inspiration for his own next performance. Conklin really did put on a great show, especially in the first when the Wings took a little bit to find their legs and get it going. If that's the way he plans to play this season, I say, "Welcome back, Ty. Make yourself at home."
The Mule fed early, getting the lone goal in the 1st, and the Eurotwins power activated for the other two tallies of the game.

Game 3: VAN 0 - DET 2

Jimmy Howard took up the challenge laid down by his backup in the previous game, turning in a stellar performance including two amazing saves on the D- variety Sedin at the close of the 1st period and two blanks on breakaways in the 2nd.
Abby drew first blood after catching a beautiful cross-ice pass from Bert in the 2nd while Pavel distracted the goalie, the defenseman and quite likely the hotdog vendors on the concourse with a drive up the middle.
Fil scored the second goal with a one-timer off a gorgeous give-and-go dance routine with Franzen. It looks like swapping those two at wing and center might have some juice to it after all.

Game 4: DET 3 - MIN 2 (OT)

Of course, I missed the first OT game of the year, so busy was I playing the dutiful friend and maid-of-honor checking out potential wedding venues when I could have been watching the Wings. It's not always easy being an amazing best friend, let me tell you.
Anyway, since I didn't see this one on my own, I don't have much to say except that I'm glad to see the Mule seems to be taking the regular season seriously so far, which is a relief. I love that he comes alive during the playoffs, but I'd like to see him at least exhibit a heartbeat before then.

Game 5: CBJ 2 - DET 5

This one I took in start-to-finish, and let me tell you the best thing about the night was seeing the Power Play figure out how to tell their asses from their elbows, going 3-for-4 with the man advantage, including one 5-on-3 in the third. The Mule himself scored on the first two of them, coincidentally the first two power play chances of the game.
Mule and Bambi showed more of the magic of their new switchoff, turning in 3 and 4 pt nights, respectively. Mule had the 2 PPGs plus an assist on Fil's lone goal, while Filppula registered assists on both of Franzen's goals as well as on Lidstrom's 3rd period PPG.

And that's where we stand, a 5-0 start for the first time since 1972. Not too shabby. Tonight we face a challenge, heading into D.C. for a match up against the similarly undefeated Washington Capitals (6-0 to start). Not only is it a meeting for two of the top teams in the league, but it marks Fabian Brunnstrom's regular season Wings debut and the 1500th career game for Nicklas "The Perfect Human" Lidstrom. Bow your head and recognize your insignificance, please.

Trust me, I'll be watching this game if it kills me. And it really, really, really has that potential.

Hockey! Hockey! The Greatest Game in the Land!

2011-10-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am, indeed, walking around the house today singing the climactic musical number from Score: A Hockey Musical. And why shouldn't I? It's an anthem and a statement of devotion, the kind of devotion I have for the Detroit Red Wings.

Months, years, lifetimes have passed (for fruit flies) since we last saw our boys, our real boys, take the ice and I, for one, am jonesing like a crackhead for more of that sweet, red and white candy, the kind only Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg and Nicklas Lidstrom can provide.

The roster has changed. Rafi's gone, and we'll definitely miss him; Draper is up in the office, and I still haven't stopping weeping over that one. But Ozzie is whispering in Jimmy's ear, and we've got fresh faces and fresh legs and nothing but smooth ice and open nets in front of us. Now let's show everyone how old we really are:

Twenty years... and counting.

Let's Go Red Wings!!!

Fall Is in the Air

2011-09-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's almost hockey season. I know this because here in the Pacific Northwest, the weather went from 90 degrees to 60 degrees in 3.7 seconds. Last week, I was running the A/C and supplementing the air circulation with fans, while yelling at the dogs for letting the heat in through their dog door; today, I'm curling up on the sofa under a chenille blanket, sipping coffee, and wondering if I'm motivated enough to get up and close the window I opened to get some fresh air in here. But really, none of that is important. Only one thing is important.

It's almost hockey season!!!

Today, the Red Wings started Training Camp in Traverse City, getting their physicals out of the way before traveling back to Detroit tomorrow for Brad McCrimmon's funeral service (My thoughts and prayers are with Beast's family and loved ones during this horrific time). On Sunday, Camp will start for real, with practices and scrimmages in preparation for a year full of changes for the Wings. It's about time.

After a tragic summer, I can't wait for hockey to help us all remember how much we love life, the sport, and the Red Wings.

LGRW.

Off-Season Off Loading

2011-07-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

Well, okay, we had a hockey season. Not exactly the one I wanted, but still one that made me proud of the boys in red and white. I'd have liked to kick SJ's ass, but we can't always get what we want, can we? (Though, if we can, sign me up for a few millions bucks, would you?)

So here we are, in the deep, dark depths of the off season, sucking out every tidbit of Wings news like marrow from a roasted beef bone (yummmmm) while Boston fondles that which is rightfully ours. In the 69 days since the Wings last played, one or two significant things have happened. And since I know you're all dying to hear my take on all of them, here it is:

Nick Lidstrom signed for one more year: Thank Jesus
Rafalski unexpectedly hung 'em up: This one was like a kick to the dentures--it came out of nowhere, drew blood and left me wondering what the hell had happened. Personally, I'd been braced for the possibility of Nick putting family before career, but Rafi caught me by surprise. Having seen his injuries over the last couple of years, though, it began to make a sad sort of sense. I'll miss the poetry of his passes, but I can't deny that the blueline needed a retool. His departure gave us a lot of room to do that.
Ericsson resigned for 3 years and mad money: That is, money that made me mad. Which left me, not doubting Kenny precisely, but at least wondering if there might be something more interesting than water in his bottle. Hopefully, Shitbox can live down his nickname and start living up to the expectations the organization obviously has for him.
We signed a man with hair like Bozo the Clown: This was a move that made me go, "Huh." Not what I'd been expecting, but interesting nonetheless. Mike Commodore brings a physical dimension to the back end that we've been lacking at times, and after the last couple of years, he's got something to prove to his detractors. That often works out well for us. Hopefully, it will again.
We signed a defector: Not one from the now defunct Soviet Union this time, but from the bowels of Purgatory, also known as San Jose (Chicago, of course, being Hell itself). Ian White was another interesting acquisition. He's fairly young and not a big guy, but he's another player with the potential to reach a new level in his career if he can click with the Detroit system. I'ma keep an eye on this one. Even if his nose is two sizes to small for his face.
We replaced two voices behind the bench: With Paul MacLean and Brad McCrimmon both choosing to move on from Detroit and explore career options in exciting new places like Ottawa and Russia, the Red Wings have had a bit of an overhaul behind the bench. I'm cautiously optimistic that this might be the biggest and best development of the off season. I think Mike Babcock was onto something when he said he'd started to feel like Charlie Brown's teacher in the locker room this past season. Hopefully adding Jeff Blashill and Bill Peters will allow for fresh translations of the wah-wah-wah chorus and spark some new energy in a squad that's had perhaps too much time to get comfy with each other.
The wizard behind the curtain has dropped the curtain for good: The Wizard of Oz is going back to Kansas. Well, actually, Chris Osgood is only moving to the Red Wings offices as a goalie scout and development guy. This is sad news for those of us who loved the Dennis the Menace doppleganger for all of his ups and down, but it's great news for the kids coming up through the Detroit goalie pipeline. Ozzie's role as a mentor has been a huge influence on Jimmy Howard, and he's got the kind of mental toughness and team-first mentality that will hopefully make the difference in turning kids like McCollum into real NHL goalies. I'll miss Ozzie, but I'm glad he's sticking with the club. He's part of Detroit after all these years, and I'd hate to see him leave us completely.
The Conkblock returned to Detroit: I'm fine with this. Conklin was good for us in the year he spent behind Ozzie. He's okay with being a 2nd stringer, he can play well when he's called upon, and he's cheap. These all add up to a sensible decision on Kenny's part. Plus, he's not bad to look at. Okay by me.

So with all those moves and grooves, I'm left with only one big question mark punctuating my summer: What's up with Kris Draper?

I think it's pretty much a given that Draper will be calling it quits before the season starts, though I'm sure he'll be doing it reluctantly (that man just loves to play). Hell, I'm reluctant to see it. I LOVE that man. LOVE. HIM. An original Grind Line-r, the most amazing deal in NHL history (The $1 Man...seriously, how sweet was that trade?), the man who gave his face for the franchise, and the best forward mentor a locker room has ever seen... How could I not love #33?

Unfortunately, he's done his job of bringing along the kids just a little too well. He helped mold Helm into what he is today... Draper's replacement. #43 is younger and even faster than his mentor and his hands are developing nicely, giving him the potential to turn into more of a goal scorer than Draper ever was while he's still at the beginning of his career. I'll hate seeing Draper go, but he's leaving us with a worthy successor. And if Kenny Holland isn't actually boozing it up in the front office, they'll find a place for Draper in the franchise, whether it's as a conditioning coach, a forward development guy, or some level of coach. As much as Ozzie is, Kris Draper is part of the fabric of Detroit.

And that makes us a lucky buncha bastards.

You Can Take the Girl Out of the Vatican...

2011-03-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

Maybe this all traces back to my Irish-Italian Catholic (on my mother's side... Dad's a protestant Scot all the way) roots, but I feel the need to make confession. To bare my soul, reveal my sins, and begin the increasingly short road to the playoffs with a clean conscience. After all, if I say 4 Hail Marys, 10 Our Fathers and light 2 candles, the goat sacrifices and premeditated murder get waved off, right?

Generally, as a Red Wings fan, I know myself to be the purest of hockey-hearted humans. After all, my team epitomizes class among professional athletes. The organization sets the standard for all other NHL franchises. We have Nicklas Frickin' Lidstrom, for gods' sakes. What in the world could I have to feel guilty about?

Well, it's not a long list, but here it is...

I want the Red Wings to win Every. Single. Game.
I know, I know, it's not realistic. It's not even possible, given the nature of the sport, the frailty of the human body, and the existence of Jonathan Ericsson, but this wish doesn't come from my rational forebrain. It's wholly a product of my animal--nay, my reptilian--hindbrain. The stem that keeps my heart beating, my lungs inflating, and Red and White circulating in my veins. Mea Culpa.

I still haven't forgiven Jiri Hudler.
To the reptilian hindbrain, he committed the unpardonable sin--he left Detroit. And it wasn't so much that he left, it was that he left for money. Filthy lucre. I forgave Shanny for leaving, because he needed a place where he could be the leader of a new surge, not a leftover from the shadow of Steve Yzerman. But Jiri was just a greedy little sonofabitch. He got a good offer--an offer an arbitrater agreed was fair--and he walked away for cash. That pisses me off. Plus, when he came back it took 2/3 of the season to make himself useful. He's still got work to do to win me over. If he ever can.

I'm in Awe of the Talented Star on the Team, but My Heart Belongs to the Grinders.
No one can take anything away from Pavel or Hank or Nick. My God, those guys are superstars; thankfully, the kind of superstars who don't feel the need to point that out to everyone around them. My jaw drops in awe when Pasha dangles his way to yet another highlight reel goal; I shake my head in amazement while watching TPH make defensive hockey look effortless; I ooh and aah when Hank fends of a seeming army of opposing skaters to keep the puck and take the shot. When my knees really get weak, though, is when Draper teaches the meaning of the word hustle to a cocky eighteen-year-old on the visiting team, or when Helm kills off 30 seconds of penalty time single-handedly, or when Abby stands someone up as if he was a second pairing defenseman instead of a 4th line forward. Those are the players who put stars in my eyes, and those are the ones I'll be rooting for the loudest.

I Actually Like Todd Bertuzzi.
There. I said it. And I meant it, damn it. Yes, I've seen The Hit. Many times. It was cheap, and it was ugly, and it never should have happened. But you know what? I've also seen the apology and the tears and the sincerity of the regret. I've seen a man who has grown the hell up, who went from being a power forward with too much ego and a hot head to a responsible two-way player who's just grateful everyday for the chance to play hockey. I see a man who lives every day knowing his life with never go back to the way it was Before, but who does his best to move on and be a better, more responsible guy than he used to be. And I see a guy who recognizes that becoming a Red Wing (for the 2nd time) was both the smartest thing he ever did, and the best gift he's ever been given. I can respect that. So go ahead and give me shit for this. I can take it. But I'm not gonna change my mind.

There. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. The kicker is, though, that I don't regret a single bit of it. So maybe my soul isn't going to be all that cleansed by this. Oh, well. You'll all be invited to visit me in my cute little condo with a view of the river Styx. Hell has the best parties, anyway.

Let's Go Red Wings!

The Language of Numbers - Part III

2011-03-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

The continuing stoooooooooory of my personal and judgmental views on what the sweater you wear says about you as a human being. And more importantly, as a Wings fan...

#51 - Filppula - It's all about potential. About flashes of brilliance and the next generation. You appreciate skill, and you have the patience to wait for it to develop. But you may find yourself on your feet shouting "Need More Shoot!" from time to time.
#52 - Ericsson - You like... um, wait.... You respect... er, no... You're all about... *sigh* no, I can't explain this one. Unless you're the kind of woman who can be won by a pretty face to the extent that you don't care about the space between the ears. Either that, or your bought your jersey during the '08-09 playoffs and you can't being yourself to discard something you spent $300 on.
#55 - Kronwall - Oh, but nothing turns you on like a clean, hard, tooth-rattling, bone-shaking, open ice hit. The kind the receiving team dreads, the opposing fans hate, and in which the officials (if they actually read the rulebook) can find nothing to call. Too bad you can barely remember what one of those looks like.
#81 - Hossa - I only include this because I've seen them. And all I can say is... stupidity?
#90 - Modano - I can respect an open-minded man (or woman), and you're one of those. You know Kenny always knows what he's doing and you're happy to show respect for probably the greatest American hockey player of all time, even if he is the new guy. At least he wears the right colors now.
#93 - Franzen - When a guys gets a nickname from Stevie Y, he carries it to his grave. Or right into the net, like the Mule does. You like a big man with big talent. and you've got the patience to sit through the occasional slump in exchange for the glory of the 5-goal games.
#96 - Holmstrom - You're a Wings fan. End of story. If you wouldn't consider wearing this number, then, God, Jed*, I don't even wanna know you.

So you may agree, you may disagree, and you may have ideas of your own. You wanna let me know what you think? Leave a comment.

*Everything in life is a reference to The West Wing, if you just know where to look.

The Language of Numbers, Part Deux

2011-03-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

The continuing stoooooooooory of my personal and judgmental views on what the sweater you wear says about you as a human being. And more importantly, as a Wings fan...

#23 - Stuart - "Solid" is your idea of a high compliment. You admire the men who do their jobs, who don't whine, and who don't feel a need to blow their own horns.
#24 - Probert - You've got a soft squishy place inside reserved for a tough guy. You're as loyal as a bulldog, and you know how to forgive. And you know that sometimes a bad boy is the nicest guy in the room.
#25 - McCarty - March 26, 1997. Do you really need to explain this?
#26 - Hudler - You really like hookers.
#30 - Osgood - The haters can go fuck themselves. The man's 10th all time in wins by an NH goalie. He's got 400 wins to his name, 3 Stanley Cup rings, 2 Jennings tropheys... Aw, fuck it. You know what? YOU know why you wear it, and any Wings fan knows why you wear it, and everyone else can see the beginning of this description.
#33 - Draper - Grinders rule. Grit, hard work, determination, and dedication are the qualities you admire most. You want to give props to a man who sacrificed his face for his team and is still one of the hardest workers on the ice every single night. You're glad to have the world's best mentor for new players, and you love how much the man loves the game.
# 35 - Howard - You're ready to give credit where credit is due, and you prefer to look toward the future rather than living in the past. You appreciate tradition, but you want the cup again. Bad.
#40 - Zetterberg -The most underrated forward in the league, the man who manages to rack up 69 points without having scored a goal since 1937... seriously, what was the question?
#43 - Helm - You have an eye on the future, and on a player with mind-boggling speed, a work ethic learned at the feet of Draper, and motor-oil coated feathers in his blood.
#44 - Bertuzzi - You believe in second chances, and you appreciate a man who has shown he can grow as both a player and a person. And you can probably take the punches that might be thrown at you.

The plane to Hockeytown leaves in less than 12 hours, the jerseys are hanging in preparation for being packed, and the Wings had better be fucking hungry for a win.

Let's Go Red WIngs!!!

The Language of Numbers

2011-03-04T12:54:00.000-08:00

H2H2 is almost upon us (SQUEE!!!!!!), and in honor of that momentous occasion, I've been planning my game wardrobe. Translation: I've been trying to decide which of my jerseys to wear for the party and the subsequent riot at the Joe. I'm still torn, so it's not like I can reveal my decision yet, but the quandary has gotten me thinking.

Wearing a player's number makes a statement. Who you choose to honor says something about what's important to you, about what you value and whom you admire. For instance, we all know that if you wear a Pens87 jersey, you're saying you're a pussy who cries a lot. But what does it mean if you wear a Wings jersey (Other than that you've got the good taste to support the greatest hockey franchise in history)?

Let's take a look:

#1 - Sawchuk - You rock it old school, baby, and you don't mind carrying a few scars if it gets the job done.
#5 - Lidstrom - Perfection leaves you in awe. You don't expect it, but you're smart enough to appreciate it. The combination of skill, smarts, and class gives you a secret little thrill. Well, okay, it's probably not much of a secret.
#7 - Lindsay - Old time hockey turns you on. You like it rough, tough, and terrible, and you'll always stand up for your beliefs, just like Ted did for the players
#9 - Howe - You don't just love Mr. Hockey, you love hockey itself. You love a player who could, and did, do it all. And did it well, but you also just love the game, every goal-scoring, puck-stopping, glove-dropping, punch-throwing minute of it.
#10 - Delvecchio - You admire the combination of skill and class. You remember the Production Line with awe and fondness. You also have a thing for unsung heroes, since arguably few of Detroit's legends get less props than Mr. Delvecchio.
#11 - Cleary - You admire hard work. You live in the now and you appreciate that someone can come from outside and embrace the Wings philosophy down to the ground, becoming better than ever behind the Winged Wheel.
#12 - Abel - Versatility, leadership, and tradition mean a lot to you, and you're happy to show respect for those who deserve it.
#13 - Datsyuk - You'll never mind standing around with your jaw hanging open, because the man in this number is so good, your puny human mind can't wrap itself around the truth of it.
#14 - Shanahan - Good times never go out of style. You admire drive, talent, toughness, and a sense of humor. Oh, and you also like a good Irish jig.
#16 - Konstantinov - You believe, and you don't intend to ever forget. You're loyal and you know that real talent should be commemorated and celebrated.
#19 - Yzerman - You bleed Detroit. You recognize greatness, and you're proud to represent it. Loyalty, skill, leadership, and class are your bywords, and you defy anyone to tell you there was ever anyone greater. Gretzky be damned. He was a one-trick pony compared to Stevie.

That takes care of the rafters and the first bunch. More in a day or two.

Let's Go Red Wings!!!

Take That, Dallas! (Or, Neener, Neener, Neener: A Blogpost)

2010-12-30T14:34:00.000-08:00

As it turns out, I was neither dead, nor kidnapped by aliens, jihadists, or skinheads (of which we have an over-abundance here in the PacNW). I was just annoyed, behind deadline, and basically lazy. Sorry about that.

Over the holidays, I was also subject to the Irish-Italian Catholic guilt of my childhood, which forced me to travel back east to Tennessee to spend Christmas with my family (and before you ask, NO, I am NOT from TN; it's just where my parents and assorted relatives live at present). Since they get about 3 TV channels at the ol' homestead and none of them carry hockey--EVER--I missed every Wings game between 12/22 and 12/29. The withdrawal sucked.

Happily, I got back to civilization in time to see last night's game against the Stars and strap myself in to the rollercoaster of elation and despair that is Red Wings hockey.

The despair:

The 3-goals in 1:14 flurry from Dallas in the 2nd period. What the hell was up with that?
The reality finally sinking in that in addition to the attempted involuntary manslaughter that left Modano out until at least March, we're down Datsyuk AND Cleary for at least a month.
Having to look at Steve Ott's ugly, asshole, thug-scumbag face.

The elation:

Seeing Useless Jiri finally do something worthwhile, although frankly I think most of the Credit goes to Bertuzzi for the truly awesome pass that set up Hudler's shot.
Kris Draper reminding us that every time people start to say there's no room left for him on this team, he makes those bastards eat their words.
The 4th line kids continuing to grind it out, hustle, battle, and basically make life miserable for the other team, even if Darren Helm continues to have the hands of an epileptic, three-legged donkey.
Watching Patrick "Hat trick" Eaves rack up a 4-pt night, including personally potting 2 past Kari Let-em-in and topping it all off with a curly fry-making empty netter. It almost gives the idea of getting "Eavesed" a whole new meaning.

Though speaking of elation, I have to add that although it was not part of last night's game, the highlight of the year has to be the x-mas gift given to me by the best friend in the history of friendship, who presented me with a SIGNED 1997-1998 Lidstrom jersey, complete with the "A" and the "Believe" patch. It is made of awesome and might have to make an appearance at H2H2 in March.

Now excuse me while I go bask in its reflected glory.

Let's Go Red Wings!

11/3/10 Detroit 2 - Calgary 1

2010-11-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

I finally managed to pack my 'rents off to my brother's house for the southern half of their west coast sojourn, so I actually have a chance to recap a game. I watched the last 2 (secretly, furtively) and can sum those up even after the passage of time with one word each:

Phoenix = Abyssmal

(even my father, who doesn't watch hockey, noted our lack of defense), and

Nashville = Better.

Tonight's game against Calgary was better still. I think we got nearly a full 60 minutes out of our guys, which is a nice thing to see. Hopefully it's a sign that we had a slow start but we're now planning to take hockey seriously for another 72 games.

So, things I noted:

Jimmy was fantastic. And it was good to have him back. While Ozzie was better than he could have been, I still feel more confident when Jimmy's between the pipes. Not only does he play better in net than Ozzie, but the team seems to play better in front of him.
Danny Cleary was on fire. He worked like a demon, created chances, had an awesome chance at a shorty, and basically made himself a top pick for player of the game. Unfortunately, he couldn't get no love from Miikka Kipprusoff and was repeatedly robbed at the net. Still, nice work, Danny. Keep it up.
Abby seemed to bring the 3rd line alive tonight. He played like the grinder he is, ~~assisting on Mike Modano's first goal since the first game of the season and even~~ (turns out Abby didn't get credited for this, but I could have sworn he was in the mix there) scoring one himself. Not to mention he did his damned job over and over, every shift, creating chances, blocking shots, pissing off Flames and generally reminding me of how much I like having him on the team. Jiri Who?
The officiating sucked. There were like 97 penalties called in the 1st period and the 2nd ended with an unsportsmanlike conduct call on Brad Stuart for... I don't know. I literally have no idea. I rewound and watched the damned thing like 4 times, and I still don't know what the call was for. But whatever. We killed the penalty, and that was what counted.
Our PK was a bigger scoring threat than the PP. We might want to ponder that for a minute or two and maybe try and fix that, kay? Thanks.
Alex Tanguay went to the box for the last minute of play on an absolutely dirty hit with his knee that was called as tripping. Odds against the league reviewing at are currently running 7942 to 1.

I'll take the win and the day off before back to backs in Edmonton and Vancouver. Let's Go Red Wings!!!

A Win's A Win

2010-10-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

This one wasn't pretty, but you know what? I'll take it, especially after the dismal game in Dallas on Thursday. I ended up having to turn that one off just a few minutes into the 2nd. It had been a bad day around here, and we just didn't have the emotional bandwidth to cope. Tonight, I stuck it out and we got the win. So good for us. But I'd like to mention a few things:

After the loss in Dallas, Babcock said, "The big thing for me, in all four games we're not dangerous enough offensively...I'm not talking about hitting people, I'm talking about hanging onto pucks and grinding and working with the puck in the o-zone." He was totally right, but we still didn't bring the danger tonight. We're trying to get too fancy, passing when we should be shooting, trying to set up the perfect shot when we ought to just take it to the net and bang it in. Remember, guys, a goal doesn't have to be pretty to count. In fact, sometimes the dirty ones count more.
We have GOT to address the turnover situation. It's just unacceptable. Part of it comes from the fancy-schmancy plays we've trying to make, but some of it is laziness and/or lack of focus, and we need to change that. Stat.
What the FUCK has happened to our Power Play? Seriously, where did it go? I know we used to have one, but I sure haven't seen it this season. It's been bad for all 5 games, but against Phoenix, we're talking abyssmal. 1-in-8? ONE-in EIGHT???!!! That's insane. That's pathetic. That's completely unacceptable.
I don't know if Hank is having a crisis of confidence or if he'd wasting too much energy knocking his newly-wed boots with Emma, but he does not look like himself. I'm used to Pasha being a slow starter, but Pasha looks better than Z at the moment. So Hank needs to step it up.
Kindl looks like a rookie sometimes, but even then I'm still thinking he looks better than Ericsson. I'm not in a hurry to see Big Rig step out of the press box.

Those are the night's observations. Now I'm going to celebrate with a nice big ~~bottle~~ glass of wine. Night, all!

Homer's in His Office, All's Right with the World

2010-10-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Because if there had been Red Wings in Browning's time, I swear he'd have been a fan.

Ah, October! That most glorious on months. The month where the weather cools, the leaves turn, and men start leaving their teeth on sheets of polished ice (fortunately for Kopitar the tooth was fake; fortunately for the fans, the blood was real). And all I have to say is...

IT'S ABOUT DAMNED TIME!!!

The Wings played their first two games, winning 4-0 over Anaheim and 3-2 over Chicago, leaving me with a warm, fuzzy feeling of contentment. Though I got to see both games, I unfortunately have yet to be reunited with Ken and Mickey, since I had to put up with the Anaheim feed on Friday and the NHLN coverage on Saturday. Still a win's a win, and I'll take both of these and summarize my thoughts here:

1 game = 1 shutout for James Tiberius. How awesome is that? Keep it up, pal, and the media will be eating the word "slump" along with a great big side of "too old."
Pasha is the man. No only can he deke and score and humiliate opponents on the ice, but he can kick their asses when it's called for. Good going, Pasha. Now don't ever do that again.
Franzen made it through the Chicago game, and in a week or so, I expect my nightmares to fade as the relief sinks in.
Modano scored his first goal as a Wing and looked like a solid presence on the 3rd line. I like Mike. So far.
On Saturday, Bambi was the man. With his big doe eyes fixed on the net and his luxurious locks flowing in the wind (well, their would be if he hadn't been wearing a helmet), Filppula sank 2 around Turco. I love it. This is his year. I can feel it.
Ozzie looked good. He gave me a moment or two of nail-biting anxiety, but over all, he got the job done. 1 of the 2 goals he let in was entirely not his fault but rests on the shoulders of Dan Cleary and the defense for hanging him out to dry while the puck was banged out of the corner. The other goal, maybe he should have had, but he came up with the save he needed to when we needed them. So, go Oz!
I like Jakob Kindl 100 times more than Ericsson. He might not be as pretty (by like a factor of 100) but he was solid and steady out there in a way Big Rig hasn't been in a year. He gets my vote for the 6th D-spot.

So next game is tomorrow v. Colorado. Since I'm both a traditionalist and a sentimental fool, I'm looking forward to a couple of hours of vitriol and hate in my living room.

Ah, hockey! How I've missed you...

Let's Go Red Wings!

All I Want For Michaelmas...

2010-09-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

Some people make Christmas lists, but that's just way too far away. I want what I want, and I want it now. And since today is technically Michaelmas (which I found out by googling for current holidays) and marks the beginning of autumn, aka the beginning of HOCKEY SEASON, I figured it was the perfect time to make my wish list for 2010-2011 and present it to the hockey gods for their consideration.

And so, with no further ado, here goes:

Ahem.

A healthy roster that manages to make it to the post season without missing 307 man games. Less than 100 would be preferred. Less than 50 even better.
A 100+ point season. I know, it's become almost de rigeur for the Wings to manage this, but last year we had to struggle for it and it came right down to the wire. This year, I'd like to coast into it without breaking a sweat.
90+ pts for Pavel Datsyuk with 30+ goals. I know, I know, he's more than capable of a 100 pt season, but this is still the beginning of the list, so I'm trying not to be greedy.
80+ pts for Henrik Zetterberg. Again, an easy one. More would be good, but since he just scraped 70 last season, I'm restraining myself. See what a good girl I am?
A strong sophomore season for Jimmy Howard. If he can match his .924 percentage from last year, I'll do a happy dance and sing praises to your names, but if we can avoid the term "slump," I will consider myself content.
A comeback year for Chris Osgood. I love Ozzie. I want him to shut up the naysayers.
A healthy Mule. Pretty, pretty please.
30 goals for Johan Franzen. I know he's appearing on this list twice, but since he missed more than 2/3 of the season last year, he deserves special attention. I don't like to be blunt, but you owe him.
Another 20 goal year from Dan Cleary. We all know he can do it, providing he's healthy. (hint, hint)
Valteri Filppula's breakout year. We know it's coming. It's been coming for a couple of years now. Let's just stop wasting time and make it happen, okay?
For Mike Modano to move me out of the Meh-dano camp and onto the side of the Prodanos. I think he can do it, don't you?
A year that illustrates clearly that Jiri Hudler is suitably grateful to be back in Detroit. Mike Babcock has already put in his request for 70 points, so I'll just ditto him. He's been a good boy, too.
A finishing touch for Darren Helm. He has so much potential! And admit it, even you want to see him score on more of those awesome breakaways. You know you do!
Someone to give the referees a lesson on calling Goalie Interference. We fans know that the rule about being in the crease no longer applies, so can someone please remind the refs about it? If not for me, do it for Homer. He deserves a fair shot.
I'd really, really love for some sense to get knocked into the head of Jonathan Ericcson. He has the talent and we all know it, but if he doesn't crawl out of his own head soon, Kindl's gonna yank his spot away, which would be a shame. I like Kindl, but he'll be along soon enough. I don't really want to see Big Rig fail, do you?
Some Kronwalling. 'Nuff said.
Can I ask to NOT have something? Because if so, I'd like to take a pass on Bertuzzi spin-o-ramas, please. Thanks.
A season to make Nicklas Lidstrom glad he signed for one more year.
The Stanley Cup.

That's it. That's all I want for this season, hockey gods. Can I have it? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top? I've been a very good girl, you know. Now give me reason to be even better. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Christine

Game Thoughts 9/26/10 NYR 3 - DET 5

2010-09-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

Not doing a recap because my video feed was so streaky that I missed at least half the game, but here are a few thoughts about what I did see:

Tomas Holmstrom can't get no love. But he can sure as hell put a puck in the net.
Helmer is still fast. And he still can't finish. But hell, he's young; he's still got time to learn. If and when he does, he'll be a force to be reckoned with.
Brian Rafalski may be old(ish) and bald and have a bad back and a watery knee, but he still can make me smile when he's on his game.
I hate Sean Avery.
Howard can make some sick saves and hopefully is working on making even more of them.
The preseason only serves to make me long for the real season. Come on, October!!!

Let's go Red Wings. T-minus 12 days and counting.

Practice Recap CHI 3 - DET 2

2010-09-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

It's not a real one, because seriously, it's a pre-season exhibition game. It's half the roster and meaningless. But it's still more Wings hockey than I've seen in months. Therefore, I was glued to the tv. The new 46" HD tv. Score.

1st Period

Ericsson looks lost. Still. I don't know what happened to the kid we saw in the 09 playoffs, but he wasn't on the ice tonight. Again. Fortunately, the season hasn't even started yet, so he's got some time for someone to smack some sense into him.
Brendan Smith needs seasoning. I can see potential, but he's not quite there. Some good moves, but a few big flubs as well.
Gods, but I missed Pavel and Nick and Hank and Homer and the rest of the guys. Summer seemed 6 years long.
2 goals: Mursak (Emmerton) and Homer (Nick & Hank)
Hard to say how Jimmy looks since Chitown had only 4 shots, but he looked alert at least and made at least one nice save, so I'm optimistic.

2nd Period

Chi scored on the PP. Jimmy was down after blocking a shot down low and just didn't get a chance.
Hank scored on a pretty rebound off Dats. Love that line back together.
I'm liking my first sight of Salei. I think he could work.
Tatar had a couple of nice moments. I like that he's still so young because that makes his potential a little crazy.
Jordan Owens also had some nice moments. I'm interested enough to keep an eye on the kid for sure. He needs to watch it with the penalties, though.

3rd Period

Bad turnover, 4-on-2, Joey MacDonald missed it. 3-2.
Helmer with a breakaway that hit the post. But at least it was closer than last season. I have hope.
Homer goal waved off. It felt just like old times.

So that was it. 3-2. And I made it all the way through a Hawks feed. Pray I don't have to do that again.

Now I can't wait for the games that actually count.

Let's go Red Wings.

Exhibitionists

2010-09-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

So the Pit's top line apparently beat our extras tonight 5-1. I say apparently, because there was NO television coverage of the event. Instead, I'm sitting here watching Chicago and TB play (in Winnipeg...talk about cold comfort). But I was able to catch the box score, so I have two or three important observations/questions about tonight:

WTF, Ozzie. All that talk about how ready you are and all the hopes you raised during the scrimmages and the Red v White game and THIS the the performance we get the first time you take the ice? You let in FIVE goals on 27 shots in the space of 2 periods? You let in a goal at the 1:21 mark? Are you fucking kidding me? Get a grip, man. Little Thomas McCollum put in a better showing then you when he took over in the 3rd. He blocked all 10 of the shots he faced. This is no way to try and win back Babcock's confidence. You know, in case you hadn't grasped that yet.
Bertuzzi apparently managed to rack up 5 for Fighting, 2 for an Instigator, and a Game Misconduct, which would normally have me rolling my eyes and calling for him to calm down except that based on the timing and the fighting opponent, it looks like he earned them for going after Brooks Orpik after that scuzzball kneed the Mule, possibly causing the charley horse that caused him to leave the game in the 1st period. So in that case, I say, "Thanks, Todd. Let me buy you a beer!"
The other interesting thing I saw in the box score was the simultaneous Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalties earned by Brad Stuart and Tyler Kennedy, which prompted my housemate to demand, "What the hell did they do? Whip 'em out and piss on each other?"

All in all, I admit I'm slightly disappointed, since I never like to see an opportunity squandered to kick the Pens in the balls. However, consider the facts. We played our 2nd and 2/3 of our 3rd line plus a bunch of guys battling for spots against pretty much all of Pittsburgh's top guns. C'est la vie, right?

Anyway, the season is still 16 days away. We'll get there.

Let's go Red Wings!

Isn't That Sweet?

2010-09-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Look! Kari Lehtonen put a picture of Kris Draper on his mask!

And here I didn't even realize he was a fan. What a nice tribute to Draper, though, especially in full playoff beard. Looks like the Stars are on our side in more ways than Mo.

Gratuitous Dog Love

2010-08-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Wait, somehow that sounds wrong...

Anyway, as there is still no news fit to print in the hockey world, I've decided to take this opportunity to repost my favorite Red Wings photo ever:

Total thanks to NOHS for finding it first! Aren't they just the cutest couple?!

Those (3) of you who actually pay attention to my Tweets might recall that I am shamelessly a big dog person, as evidenced by my home, currently occupied by a coonhound mix (a paltry 85 lbs), a Bernese Mountain Dog (87 lbs and needing at least 5-7 more), and a mastiff (140 lbs FTW!). So naturally, when I first read about Reuben, I knew he and I were soul mates, but now that I've seen his photo I can totally confirm that he's even better looking than his owner. I wonder how he is on the ice?

Reuben, I love you!!! Call me!!!

**Ed.s Note: You see what happens to this blog during the off season? It sucks in non-hockey ways as well as in its normal hockey-related ways. Tragic. Is it October yet?

Abby-Dabby-Doooooooooooooo!

2010-08-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

Abdelkader had been officially re-signed for 2 years at a price low enough to make for many happy pants in the Red Wings Nation. I myself am not above a little tingle. However, this officially marks the absolute last bit of interesting news of the off-season. Now, all we can do is wait until training camp and pray to the gods that boredom and desperation don't kill us before we get a chance to see ice again.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!!!

Is it October yet?

Seriously. October? Anyone? Anyone?

2010-08-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

So I posted, then immediately got wrapped up again in that life thing. What a nuisance. Especially considering the damned thing took me to Orlando, FL and Chattanooga, TN in July and August. It was about as pleasurable as having a facial performed with a belt sander, but I finally got back home last night (no thanks to a certain un-named airline) just in time for today's news:

Helm re-signed. Yeah, I know this technically happened earlier this week, but this was the first opportunity I had to put it in print, so deal. I love me a Helmer. Actually I love any player who learns at the knee of Kris Draper and plays every single shift like Mike Babcock is holding a gun to the back of his head and threatening to shoot him and then drop him from the team if he doesn't work his ass off every second on the ice. Thanks, Kenny.
Modano finally decided to toe the line and sign on the bottom one. It was announced earlier in the week as well, but today was the actual presser and the live photos of Mikey in his #90 red-and-whites. I saw parts of the press conference, but the damned feed kept cutting out on me, so I finally gave up and decided to just assume that Mo expressed the correct degree of awe and gratitude about coming home to Hockeytown. If I'm wrong, there will be plenty of time to grow to hate him over the next few months. I was firmly in the neutral camp about Mike (or maybe firmly in the waffling about Mike camp), so this one was more of just a relief. At least now, we can all stop reading, thinking, and hearing about it.
Chris Chelios has officially announced his retirement and accepted a job in the Red Wings' front office. That news brought a huge smile to my face. I love Cheli, and I'm delighted to have him back in the organ-i-zation. I think he'll be a great influence for the whipper-snappers and a fantastic role model for the prospects. I mean, how can you not love a guy who loved the game so much, he played it until most hockey players his age were on their 3rd set of knees? Welcome back, Cheli. I'm very happy to see you.

But with all that said, it's still only August (*gack*) and I'm jonesin' for my sport. I need to see me some ice soon, before things get desperate. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I'm already desperate. So hurry up, September. Training camp might just keep me alive until October.

Training camp and the news of Abdelkader's new deal. C'mon, Kenny. I'm waiting.

Permanent Bruise

2010-07-13T14:13:00.000-07:00

I confessed at the outset of this blog that I was a latecomer to the Red Wings nation. In my own defense, it was really my parents who were to blame, since they raised me in a relatively sports-neutral and hockeyless environment. Hell, I never even took figure skating lessons as a kid, so to me, ice was just what made for a nice day off of school now and then. Hockey just never blipped on my radar.

Until I met Hannah.

My best friend started out as a stalker, really, but that's another story. In the end, she ended up like a sister to me, just a sister who had grown up not in Connecticut with me, but in Michigan. Hockey country. Red Wings country. At first, I teased her about it. "Who watches hockey?" I asked. "I mean, aside from Canadians." She was, naturally, offended, but she took it like a champ and bided her time until we decided to share expenses and become housemates, and then she had me cornered.

We settled into the house in March. "It's the run to the playoffs," she informed me, remote control in hand. "You need to start learning about hockey. You'll be watching a lot of it." Which turned out to be true. Thank God.

It was like having the blinders ripped off my eyes, like someone had suddenly turned on the lights after I'd lived in the dark for a (carefully) unspecified number of years. Hockey was amazing. It was gorgeous. It had everything I'd always found lacking in sports--excitement, skill, speed, sustained action, finesse, strategy that didn't make me think of boring chess matches, teamwork, dazzling displays of brilliance, and athletes who (at least the ones I was watching...the ones in Red and White) seemed to place the game and the team above the need for personal stardom. How cool was that?

That was the beginning of the end; it didn't take long to hook me. The thing was, though, that Hannah knew that I needed to learn not just the game of hockey, but the glory of the Red Wings. She fed me stories and legends, encouraged me to do ridiculous amounts of historical research, and introduced me to the Numbers in the Rafters. Then she showed me the Wings of her childhood, the ones she'd grown up cheering on, the Russian Five, the Grind Line, The Captain, Darren McCarty's right hook, Darren McCarty's left hook, little Mikey Vernon, and, of course, the Bruise Brothers.

I got to know Bob Probert second hand. Watching the old games, reading the old stories, his name certainly came up more than a few times. "Oohhhh. Bob Probert," Hannah said. "He was a bruiser, an enforcer, and he was a damn good one."

He was, too. I've seen the tape. He and Kocur, keeping things even, making sure no one took a shot at a teammate and got away clean, making it clear that you couldn't mess with Stevie without taking on Probie as well. He came to embody to me the Red Wings spirit, the all-for-one, all-for-the-game mentality I saw in Detroit that made them not just my friend's team, but my team, too, the same spirit that brought Darren McCarty sailing straight at the Turtle's head on a March evening in 1997.

Oh, I heard about the night in 1989 at the US-Canadian border. It was kind of hard to avoid hearing about it. I heard that for at least one period he couldn't travel across the border with the team because of that incident. I heard about Probert's legal troubles and cocaine troubles and alcohol troubles. But through all of it, I also heard what a wonderful, gentle, kind, and giving man Probie was, how even the people who hated what he did to himself loved the man he was. To me, that's the mark of a man--he couldn't outrun his demons, but he didn't let them consume the core of him, the part that made him a good man, the man who was mourned over the past week and eulogized in glowing terms by those who knew him best.

A lot of people out there loved Bob Probert, and a lot of Red Wings fans will never forget the contributions he made to the organization. Even some of those who never got lucky enough to see him play with the team in person. I hope he knows that, because in the end, that's a pretty good legacy to leave behind.

Still Not October?

2010-07-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, okay, that was a longer break than I expected. Apparently combining the end of the season with buying my first house, and packing up and moving into said house, made me even lazier than I had anticipated. Never fear, though. I might have been hiding under a rock for the last 4-6 weeks, but I did have internet access under there. I've been keeping up with the Wings' news. The earthworms and I had some interesting discussions about Bertuzzi's new contract. They know quite a lot about Ol' Bert, it turns out. (Okay, cheap shot, but it was easy, and we've already established that I'm a lazy bitch.)

First, we did resign The Perfect Human (for what I tearfully feel will be his last season) just before I went to ground, and of course, I rejoiced appropriately over that, as well as our ability to retain Homer for another two. Go, Kenny! Then we had the lull of "beginning talks" with the rest of the current roster, punctuated by the excitement of officially booting Williams and Lebda to the curb. God help Toronto. And recently, we secured Drew Miller, followed quickly by Patrick Eaves, for another year each. Both solid signings, in my mind. I was impressed with both of the new additions this past season, with Eaves especially, and I'm hoping that he, at least, will be sticking around for a bit. So, that leaves Kenny hopefully hard at work lassoing Helmer and Abby into new contracts. I can't imagine him letting either of those young whippersnappers get away, not given their solid efforts on behalf of the Wings. Not to mention the fact that Herm would likely elect to wear Queen Victoria's mourning costume were Helm ever to leave Detroit. I have a feeling more than one of us is counting on #43 to become the Wings' next franchise player. Anyway, that's the big news I personally am waiting for from the front office.

I hear rumors, though, that some people have been talking about the possibility of picking up some old guy to center the third line. Anyone else hear about this? Some geezer named Mandato? Or maybe it was Mandano? Mandingo? Whatever.

Oh, Modano? Mike Modano? Huh. I thought he was the Stars' franchise player. He started with them way back in Minnesota, played 20 years for their team, followed them to the hell-hole that is Dallas, Texas, and managed what is likely a Hall of Fame career along the way. Then when he turned 40, they handed him his hat and let the door hit his ass on the way out. Is that the guy we're talking about?

Honestly, I've got mixed feelings about this whole thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's Mike Modano. He's a hell of a hockey player, even at 40, and I'm a little disgusted by Dallas treating him the way they have, but then again, they're Dallas. They obviously can't come close to having the class of Detroit when it comes to dealing with the players who practically define their franchise. And when I first heard that Kenny was courting him, I got excited. I was always impressed by Modano as a class act, a talented player who conducted himself like a hockey player and not a thug or a diva like so many others out there. In fact, he almost conducted himself like a Wing, so I agreed that he might make a good fit in Detroit. Especially when he told the Detroit News that he believed he would either play for Detroit next year, or he would retire. I mean, that's an attitude I can get behind.

But that was Wednesday. By Friday, Modano's quote was more along the lines of, "well, the Wings aren't the only option." And rabid loyalist that I am, that kind of about-face is the sort of thing guaranteed to yank my chain a little. Now, it's not that I don't understand. From a certain point of view. If I'd been treated the way Modano has been treated by Dallas, I might be wary, too. If I'd had my captaincy stripped away despite all I'd done for my team, I might wonder if loyalty had any place in the NHL. And if I'd been promised that I'd get to chose when I was ready to leave the team and retire, only to be informed later that my contract wouldn't be renewed whether I was ready or not, I might think that words don't mean anything until they're typed up in triplicate, signed, dated, and notarized. Since all those things happened to Modano, I can understand why he might think that way.

But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter all that much. Whether we sign Modano or not may come down to the money on the table and the wife in the corner. Minnesota and San Jose are both reportedly courting the forward now, because where Kenny goes, the smart money follows. Each makes a certain amount of sense--Minnesota has to have some sentimental ties after all the years he spent up there on the frozen tundra, and San Jose has the advantage of being a heck of a lot closer to his wife's potential workplace that Detroit. A man has to weigh those kinds of things when making this sort of decision. If Modano make the choice to become a Shark or a... whatever you call a Wild player... (insert Mad Libs-style insulting noun or noun-phrase here) you can't really blame him, especially if they make him a substantially better offer than the $800k-$1mil that is all Kenny will have to play with. And if that does happen, I, for one, am perfectly comfortable seeing the 3rd line center spot go to Helm or Abdelkader, players with the potential to stay with the team a lot longer than Modano, no matter how talented he might be.

Which I suppose is my long winded way of saying that I'll be happy if we get Modano, and happy if we don't. It's a novel sort of situation for me. I'm kind of enjoying it.

In any case, following the situation is keeping my attention on hockey during the summer, so it's serving its purpose. Of course, I'm also waiting rabidly for news on Helmer and Abby, rolling my eyes at Meech for filing for arbitration, and squirming nervously over the blue line, but that last one is big enough for a post all its own, so I'll leave it for now.

And I'm also taking my hat off over the loss of Bob Probert, who also deserves a post of his own, along with a whole lot more. I'll give him his due in a little bit, but gathering my thoughts on Probie has taken longer than I expected. What I'll say for now, though, is that the world will never be the same without him, and he's already missed by many.

So I'll wrap up this behemoth now, knowing I've still got more to say during this long, not-so-hot summer. You poor fools. You should have gotten out while you still had the chance...

Always A Wing

2010-05-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

What did I do when I heard the news? I cried. I cried like a little bitch, and I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit that. How could I be ashamed of a love as pure and true as the love I have for Stephen Gregory Yzerman? The Captain. Number 19 in our programs, Number 1 in our hearts (with all due apologies to Mr. Sawchuk, because he holds a special place in my heart as well). I love Stevie, and I can't be ashamed that seeing him take his first step away from Hockeytown cuts my heart into little throbbing, bleeding bits and scatters them over the lawn like wild bird seed. I just don't want to see him go.

But, like Mick Jagger would tell you, I don't always get what I want. Stevie is leaving us, moving on to the next stage in his professional life to be the GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning. I understand his decision, really I do, and in no way do I resent him or his choice. I'm not angry. I want only the best for The Captain; after all, it's only fair considering that he never, not in 27 years, gave us anything less. I know he'll be brilliant, but I wish him luck anyway. He probably won't need it, but I need to make the wish for him. And then I need to step back and let him go. It might kill me, but I need to, and I will. But I'll never stop waiting for him to come back.

In their statement to the press, Mike and Marian Ilitch said what we all need to say, and they said it simply and truthfully. I can't do much better: We appreciate all Stevie has done for us, our organization and this community, and we wish him all the best. Stevie Y will always be a Red Wing and he’ll always be in our hearts.

Not October Yet?

2010-05-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

After Game 5, I did what I do when attempting to cope with any traumatic experience: cut myself off from all humanity, climbed into bed, curled up in a fetal position, pulled the cover up over my head, and slept it off like a five-day bender. Yesterday, I finally emerged, blinking against the harsh glare of daylight, and scoped out my surroundings. And what did I see? That the Hockey Gods, while not the most generous of beings, did manage to do the right thing for once and lift Montreal to victory over the Pens in the EC semis. I saw that, and suddenly, I remembered how much I love hockey.

It's amazing what a little bit of white-hot hate can do for a girl. Once the Pens lost, everything once again became right with my world.

Seriously, though, it took me a few days to deal with the loss. Not because it was shocking, or entirely unexpected, but because I'm a Wings fan, and as the Wings go, so goes my kingdom. When they win, I'm high and when they lose, I'm despondent. It's jut the way it goes. None of that, however, diminishes the pride I feel in this year's Red Wings team. No matter what any of the asshats in the media might be saying or have said all season, this team had a great year. When you look back at the adversity we had to face, at the talent we lost, and at the schedule we played, it's impossible not to feel proud. What other team in the NHL could have gone through a self-proclaimed "transition year" like this and still managed to earn 102 points and 5 place in the Western conference, brought up a handful of new young players to the point where they held the team together during a meltdown of injuries, made it to the Western Conference semi-finals, and done it all with aplomb, grace, and class? I can't think of a single one, can you? And I can't think of any better definition for the term "dynasty." Anyone who wants to claim that Pittsburgh has any claim to being the "new dynasty" needs a bitch-slapping. For sure.

So now the Red Wings are off to rest up and get healthy for next season, and I can finally sit back and watch some hockey that doesn't turn my world upside down every time I see a turnover, or a dirty hit, or a dive, or a missed shot, or soft goal. I can just be a fan and appreciate the sport for what it is--an exciting exhibition of skill, speed, and grit that makes every other sport look about as much fun as watching paint dry. And in addition to that, I can start looking forward to the fun of the off-season.

Yeah, you read that right. I actually like the off-season. Sure, I miss watching the games, but I get to watch the draft. I get to watch the prospects. And best of all, I get to watch Kenny Holland earn his salary and his title as The Kick-Assest General Manager in Hockey History, and that might be the best part. No matter who stays and who goes, whome comes in and who retires, I know that Kenny has our backs. He'll do whatever it takes to keep the Wings at the top of the league and to give us the best chance possible to take back That Which Is Rightly Ours. How can watching that play out not be considered one hell of a good time?

With all that in mind, I can settle into the summer season with a light heart and a decided sense of optimism. We've got plenty to do before October, but we've got the perfect team in place to do it. And lest any of my 4 readers worry, I'm sure I'll have plenty of chance to bring you a continuing stream of drivel and mediocrity from now until then. No, no, don't thank me. It's the least I can do.

Literally.

LGRW!

It's Not Up to Me

2010-05-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

It's up to the men wearing the Winged Wheel. I know they can do it. As others have observed, if anyone can dig their way out of a 3-1 deficit, it's this team. All I can do now, all any of us can do, is sit back and watch to see if it happens. I won't try to tell anyone that I'm not nervous, but I think I am finally able to say that whatever happens, and I'll be okay.

Honestly, to my mind, the best reason to win would be to prove to all the idiots and naysayers that they're delusional if they think this is the end of the Dynasty. How is the 19th consecutive playoff run the end of anything? Bitches, it's only the beginning, no matter how (or when) this series ends. LGRW.

Are You Kidding Me? (Part Deux)

2010-05-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

See, this time I'm not the only one who asked. Those were seriously the words that came out of the mouth of one of the TSN announcers when Johan Franzen scored his fourth goal of the first period. As it turns out, the Mule was perfectly, profoundly serious. He wanted to let us all know that he was back, and since he already missed the majority of a hockey season, he had no intentions of stopping the playoff run last night.

(AP Photo)

Holy son of a donkey, Batman! THIS was what we've been waiting for.

I'll admit that I was nervous before the game. I had my fingers, toes, arms, and legs crossed (which made slipping into my Sawchuk jersey a bit of a challenge) but the last 3 games hadn't left me with a whole lot of confidence. Still, when we won the opening faceoff, a flash of ~~shock~~ optimism raced through me and I wondered if this might be it. If this might be the game where the Wings played like, well, Wings, and showed San Jose that when the officiating is fair and the dives are kept to a minimum, Detroit really is the better team.

It was.

I won't recap the thing, because it's already been done, and done by better bloggers than me, but I will take a moment to ask one very important question of this team:

Are you done fucking with me yet? Seriously, can you stop now? Maybe? Because people are starting to leave phone books open to in-patient psychiatric facilities when they see me passing by.

Recently, I facetiously compared my fandom for the Red Wings with being the victim of an abusive relationship, but honestly, I really can't think of a better metaphor. When the Wings are losing, it's like being punched repeatedly in the head by a 300-lb. construction worker with a bad temper and malt-liquor breath; but when they're winning (or at least playing like they did last night), I forget all the past breaks and bruises, unpack my suitcases, and forget I ever doubted that Detroit returns my love with every fiber of their being(s).

Which means that I am once again all sunshine and laughter, with visions of puppies and unicorns dancing through my vision. The Red Wings have convinced me that yet another run for the WC championship is not out of the question, and the Cup is not yet out of our reach. Of course, today's Friday, and the bruises that have faded since Tuesday night could come back with a vengance tomorrow. But until then, I'm all smiles. For the moment, you can even tell that I still have all my teeth.

Reality Can Go F#%$ Itself

2010-05-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

Ten Ways to Cope with the 3-0 Series Deficit to San Jose

Drink. Copiously. With any luck, you'll black out and not wake up until sometime in late September.
Find a gas oven. Extinguish the pilot light. Turn it on, open the door, insert your head. Breathe deeply.
Use your free time to sew a set of 4 small voodoo dolls in the shape of NHL on-ice officials. Practice creative pin-sticking.
Go to your favorite seafood restaurant. Order shark. Wield your knife with gusto.
Dye all your clothes black. Wear only jewelry made of onyx and jet. Demand that the entire nation don black armbands. Begin speaking only in the royal we. Become fat and embittered.
Become fat and embittered. At least getting there would be fun. I suggest the use of cupcakes. And maybe Cheetos.
Sleep. Hell, hibernate. Not only is napping fundamental, it's also the key to a youthful appearance! And it will leave you well-rested for the next season.
Displace your rage and disappointment with humor. Write a blog post about ridiculous ways to take your mind off the thing I'm trying to take my mind off of by writing this blog post.
Go to Amazon.com. Buy the boxed set listed here. Every time a game is scheduled to play on broadcast television, pick the corresponding game from the DVD and watch that instead. Pause it at the breaks where the commercials originally aired and watch live commercials for that authentic feel.
Look on the bright side and contemplate the fact that this season has caused pain and misery from the first puck drop to the last. And it feels like we've lost the faceoff on all of them. So why was it that we want it to keep going?

(Un)Fortunately, the season is not over yet. We still have one more chance to prolong the pain and extend the suffering. We can by postpone the sweep and take game 4, so that we can at least say we won one game in memory of our dignity. I just can't decide if that's what I want to happen.

Tag Team Hockey: DET vs SJS AND NHL

2010-05-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I'm learning in this year's playoffs, it's that I have a hard time writing a coherent and intelligent post when there are flames shooting out my nostrils and there's a billowing red haze in front of my eyes.

I am tempted, almost beyond endurance, to use this post to spew a a steaming vat of vitriolic bile and hate all over the internet. To comment, as it were, on the fact that the officiating in tonight's 4-3 loss against the San Jose Sharks was so one-sided that the entire 60 minutes was never more even than 9-on-5. The thing that stops me is that very few of the calls against the Sharks (what few there were) came with any more justification than the ones against the Wings. Which means that my problem is not that I'm a Red Wings Conspiracy Theorist (though I am) but that the NHL's officiating is a joke.

Incompetence pisses me off. It pisses off most people in my experience. Why does the NHL not think it pisses off hockey fans? Come to think of it, why doesn't it piss off the NHL itself? Shouldn't they have a little more pride than that? Shouldn't they have a little more respect for the sport they supposedly represent?

Blargh. I could go on all night. I could dissect each of the atrocious calls (which far outnumbered the reasonable ones) but there's no point to it. The game is over, and if the Red Wings intend to make it to the WCFs, they need to take from it one very specific lesson: In order to win, we have to beat the Sharks AND the referees, which means we have to play hard, clean and consistently. We need to make smart decisions, responsible passes, and check as if our lives depended on it. Because they do. And most of all, we need to SHOOT THE PUCK.

The Wings are more than capable of winning this series. So let's put this behind us and move on. Head back to the Joe and remember that even when we're playing against two opponents in one game, we have what it takes to win. Now let's prove it.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2010-04-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, it has been confirmed by our own Khan(!) that Jiri "Happy" Hudler will be back wearing the Winged Wheel next season. I have mixed feelings about this. Yes, it will be good to have his skill and scoring back on the roster, but I happen to be a champion grudge holder, especially irrational grudges, and a part of me will never be able to fully forgive Hudler for deserting us to go to the KHL in search of the filthy lucre. Maybe it's because I know I'll never make that kind of money, but when you've been offered almost $3 mil to stay with the greatest hockey franchise in the history of the game, why would $2 mil more tempt you to go play in a league only die hard hockey fans (and maybe a few Russians) even know exist? I mean, $3mil would be plenty for me, but then I'm not the greedy sort. Also, there's the significant concern over what Hudler's cap hit will mean for a team with a lot of budget juggling already on the boards. I want Hudler back, but I don't want to lose Eaves. Or Miller. Or really most anyone else. Wait, maybe I am greedy...

Anyway, Huds will be back next season, but in the meantime, we have the rest of the playoffs on our plate to keep our minds and the Wings' bodies occupied. It's only Round 2, after all, and in spite of last night's 4-3 loss to San Jose, I remain bafflingly optimistic regarding our ability to prevail and make it through to Round 3. Indeed, there seems to be an odd mood of optimism around the blogosphere this morning. No one is taking the loss too hard, perhaps because so many of us realize that the 3-goal shitstravaganza that put the Sharks over the top is one that will not be repeated. We all know how James Howard reacts to that kind of performance, and it's not by going soft in the next meeting. Plus, for the majority of the game, the Wings looked pretty good out there. We competed, we skated, we played fairly responsibly, and the Mule even started to look like the Mule again. With those factors on our side, optimism should be the least of what we're feeling.

From Sand to Sharks

2010-04-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

So here's the thing: the Sharks don't scare me, and that scares me a little.

I was firmly against facing Phoenix in Round 1. I thought they were too lean and hungry, too young, and had "Cinderella Story" written too large all over their damned faces. No, I wanted San Jose back then. Let's take the Sushi, I thought to myself, so we can ease into the playoffs while they complete their inevitable end of season choke-fest. Perfect.

Only, we got the Dogs and they proved just as hungry as I expected. Not only that, but they had Bryzgalov, who despite all of my I'm-a-mediocre-hockey-blogger-aren't-I-cool-and-clever arrogance, intimidated me. No matter what Anaheim thought, the man's got some game. He can bring it, and he brought it all too often against the Wings. And to top all that off, the Wings brought very little for a couple of those games. The third in particular gave me such bad flashbacks to November that I started craving cranberry sauce like a goddamned speedball. It took game 7 to bring out the kind of playoff Red Wings play that we're all used to seeing. But bring it they did and when I looked at the team that stomped the Coyotes on Tuesday night, I looked on the shadow of the Sharks and I laughed. Like this: Muahahahahhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Our regular season record against SJ speaks for itself. They're a good team, but we know them and we know how to beat them, so what is there to worry about? Not worrying.

I know I'm not alone in making the observation that the Wings seem to be at their most vulnerable when they're up against teams that don't worry them. For fuck's sake, just look at our record against Edmonton (Edmonton, for the sake of little baby monkeys!) this season for evidence. Now maybe the Wings take the Sharks more seriously than I do, and if so, all to the good. I mean, they do have a strong coach in Todd McClellan, and they avoided the doom of the President's Trophy this season, so they have that going for them. Plus, I've heard rumors that there are a couple of pretty decent hockey players on their roster. So, there might be hope yet. I suppose it all depends on which Red Wings show up: the team with R1 G7 Zetterberg, Datsyuk, and Lidstrom, or the one populated entirely by the pod-people stand-ins dressed in the uniforms of Franzen, Cleary, Helm, and Kronwall.

Thought now that I think about it, I'd take an under-performing version of any of those 4 over a lot of other bodies in the NHL. Even without spectacular efforts from those guys, we've still managed to pull out more than one pretty fantastic hockey game. Imagine what can happen if they all show up tonight...

What? I Walked Into A Door, Okay?

2010-04-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

I'm fine. No, really. It doesn't hurt at all.

What? Don't be silly. I already told you, I walked into a door. My team would never hurt me. They love me just as much as I love them.

Now you're just being a jerk. I told you I broke my arm when I tripped over that soccer ball in the parking lot. It was my own fault for being clumsy. Besides, that was back in November, and it healed up just fine.

I wish you wouldn't talk about the Red Wings like that. They did not give me these two black eyes. It was the DOOR.

What? The bloody lip? That was...um...oh, yeah. That- that was the dog. I scared him when he was sitting on my lap while I watched the game and he jumped up and hit me in the mouth with his head. It was an accident. The Red Wings had nothing to do with it. I already told you, they would never hurt me.

Oh, stop harping on yesterday. You weren't there. You don't know how I got these cuts and bruises. They happened just like I told you. You know what your problem is? You're jealous. You've never liked the Wings because you can't stand that they chose me to be their fan instead of you. You got stuck with those stupid Coyotes and you're bitter, so you're trying to make trouble between me and the Wings.

Well, it won't work. I love them, and they love me. Sure, sometimes we disagree and sometimes someone might accidentally get hurt, but they don't mean it. They just have a lot of stress to deal with sometimes. But most of the time they're the best hockey team a girl could ever want. I mean, look at all the sweet, thoughtful, loving things they've done for me. Haven't they brought me 11 Stanley Cups? Haven't they reached the playoffs for me 19 times in a row? Haven't they brought home countless Norris and Lady Byng and Selke trophies? Haven't they created a dynasty for me that is one of the most enduring and celebrated in all of hockey? Doesn't that prove how much they love me? I certainly think it does.

So we had a little argument on Sunday, so what? It was probably my fault. I pushed them too hard. I asked too much. I knew Phoenix would be a challenge, but I had to go and mouth off about how they just had to finish off the series at home and how I didn't want to have to deal with a game 7 back in the desert. I was being selfish. I was only thinking of what I wanted, not about their needs. I deserved whatever I got. They had every right to teach me a lesson.

I mean, you know, if that's what had happened. But it didn't. The Red Wings would never deliberately hurt me. I told you; I walked into a door.

Who Cares? ME, DAMMIT!

2010-04-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

If I were the insecure, obsessive, neurotic type of hockey blogger, I might wonder why I bother to keep up this charade. After all, there are like 176 quadrillion Red Wings blogs out there that make mine look like the mold that grows on dog crap out here in the Pacific Northwest. I might question my purpose, my calling, my avocation, if you will. (Hold me.)

But then we're treated to 1 of 2 things: either a super-phenomenal top-notch ass stomping hosted by the greatest hockey club ever to lace up the skates, or a game like we got last night, and suddenly everything becomes clear. I have to blog, because if I didn't, I would be mainlining heroin (or possibly guacamole, thanks TDD, or possibly even guacamole-flavored heroin. How metal would that be?), kicking puppies, beating small children, sexually assaulting livestock, and setting forest fires. So really, when you think about it, the world owes me a big ol' "thank you, ma'am" for the fact that I vent my rage, frustration, bitterness, elation, exuberance, and fuckyeah this way.

There was not much fuckyeah last night. I can't deny that I had a bad feeling going in. After all, as The Triple Deke pointed out (because clearly they actually wrote this post, only their version was funnier. Obviously.), afternoon games have not gone well this season for the Wings. Beyond that, however, traveling back from Phoenix after a 10 PM start, having one day, and then playing a 3 PM game is a sure way to spell reaming in Hockeytown. My tin foil hat allows me to understand that this is just the NHL scheduling office's way of getting their shits and giggles at our expense. Today, though, we get an actual day of rest before tomorrow's rematch.

The only question left is whether the Wings will use this day to muster up the energy to care whether or not they win. I do. I know at least 19 other non-professional athletes who care as well. Maybe we can send some of that to Detroit? I'll gladly pay the postage.

Of course, I'm not sure the team would bother to open the package. Right now, it looks as if that might be too much trouble.

You've Got to Want It

2010-04-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

And when I say that, I'm not talking about wanting it the way Bertuz-hnikov wants to be a prima ballerina, or the way Pens#87 wants a Playskool Little People Animal Sounds Farm set for his birthday...

...or the way Herm wants to go to Helm's house when he dies, or even the way the Scrappy Octopus wants to be Homer's BFF.

I'm talking want. Deep, grinding, obsessive, teeth-clenching, gut-wrenching need. And once you have that, it's still not enough, because you also have to work for it. You have to work every second of every shift of every game. You have to demonstrate that you're willing to skate like your life depends on it and shoot like the buzzer's about to ring and hit like the refs aren't looking. And you have to do it not just after the losses but for every game for every series until you get to rip Lord Stanley's Cup out of the hands of the Midget Unbeliever Over(-weening) Lord (High Idiot) of the NHL.

So it would be great if the Red Wings would remember that and start looking like they understand it. Thanks.

Still, I predicted (in my head, where I also foresaw the inevitable rise of intelligent, programmable breast implants. Just wait for it) the Wings would take the series in 6 games. Tonight we gave Phoenix their second. Time to start wrapping thigs up.

Let's Go Red Wings!!!

Death By Red Wings: DET 7 - PHX 4

2010-04-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Dude. I can't... I just... I mean, I can't even... And the thing... And the other thing... And when that...

Shit. Suffice it to say that game damned near killed me and every other Red Wing fan I know. If the news media report a surge in the sale of personal defibrilators tomorrow, I'm going to know where that came from. Cause DAMN.

I;m not going to do a recap, mostly because I can't, due to having watched most of the second and half of the third from between my fingers and having flipped back and forth between the game and something on the real-life possibility of comic book superhero powers in an attempt to regulate my heart's tachycardic rhythms. All I will say is that I'm glad that the real Red Wings showed up, even if it took nearly 30 minutes for that to happen. I hope we remember on Sunday that when we play hard we win, and when we get stuck in our heads and try to think instead of just skating, we get into trouble.

Let this be a lesson to us.

Now I just need to call my doctor and see if I can get a prescription for nitroglycerin tablets.

Well, Wasn't That Special?

2010-04-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

And by "special" I mean "a gigantic shit storm of shit and assholery." The Wings managed to blow two leads and let the Desert Dogs stomp all over them like a bunch of stiletto-wearing dominatrixes (dominatrixi?) at an Asian massage conference and bondage party. I don't know about you, but it made me throw up a little. Shane Doan made me throw up a lot.

Maybe this is what I get for not giving a rat's ass about a hockey team forced to play in the middle of the fucking desert, but until last night I had no idea that the Phoenix Coyotes were the illegitimate demon-child spawned when the Anaheim Ducks assraped the Philadelphia Flyers in the shadows of the Ben Franklin Bridge. To say the little fucks played dirty uses one of my favorite words in an entirely unfortunate manner. But even worse than the dirty play of the Dogs was the absolute incompetence of the reffing staff. The blind dog down the block from my house saw a Phoenix stick open up Nick Lidstrom's lip, but the official who was being paid to watch the play around the puck at the Perfect Human's feet apparently missed it. Right. Whatever. Wings fans are paranoid conspiracy theorists who should know better than to expect a fair call at a hockey game, especially one graced with the presence of our noble commissioner, Ms. Gary.ass Bettman. We ought to realize that in order to win in the playoffs, we don't need to just beat our opponent, we need to beat the officials as well. So be it. We've done it before, and we can do it again.

What we can't do again is let ourselves be intimidated by a team that refuses to play the clean game we were obviously dumb enough to expect. The Wings had a perfectly good 1st Period, not outstanding mind you, but perfectly adequate to come away with a win. Unfortunately, the longer the game went on and the harder and more physical the Dogs played, the more cautious and less energetic we became until by the third period, it was like watching a team of my dead grandmothers dumping and chasing the puck in the offensive zone, when they could even manage to make it that far down the ice. I refuse to accept that from a team with the talent of the Detroit Red Wings. We can do better; we MUST do better.

There's no secret to what it will take to wrest this series away from Phoenix. We need to play like the Red Wings. We need to be fast, tenacious, strong, and skilled. We need to play with heart and commitment and stop being afraid that we'll get hurt badly enough to hold us back in the later rounds, because unless we stop backing off and letting the other team control us, we're not going to make it to the later rounds. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. When you're on the ice, you worry about that shift and nothing else and you make sure you've left everything you have out there when you hit the bench. Understand?

Fine, enough said.

The Free Press reports that Jason Williams is out for Friday and Justin Abdelkader is in. Good. I'm a fan of this decision. Williams may have a better point shot than Abdelkader, but I saw way too many times last night when JWill stood back on the ice instead of pushing forward. Or backward, or sideways, or any fricking way at all. I'm rather have a young, hungry, physical player out there than a skilled player who doesn't look bothered to give his all on every shift.

And this here is my last request: I would greatly appreciate it if the special teams could start looking more like "special" refers to their specific and highly developed skills sets and less like it refers to the fact that they ride the short bus to practice every day. I wasn't all that surprised to see a lack of capitalization on the power play, since that's been a problem that plagued us all season, but the playoffs are NOT the appropriate time for the penalty kill to fall apart like a house of cards in a tornado zone. Pick it up, gentlemen. I expect better from you.

We all do.

So please, take 60 minutes on Friday evening and make me eat each and every word in this post. I'll make sure I have plenty of booze available to wash them down.

Game On, Boyfriend!*

2010-04-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

*Advisory: The author of this blog post makes no guarantees, either stated or implied, that this post will be free of shameless and obsessive references to the television series entitled The West Wing in general, and the episode "Game On" in particular. Reader discretion is advised.

This is it, mes amis. The playoffs are here, like the sweet scent of springtime after a long, hard winter of enclosed spaces filled with dirty sweat socks and the sick stink of fan fears. The Red Wings managed to hibernate their way into the mix in the Western Conference in spite of October through, um....well, about the Olympic break. And the Wings haven't just made the playoffs, they've made the 5 spot and earned themselves the honor of facing li'l Gary's second son in the first round.

Game 1 vs. Phoenix begins tonight at 10 PM (7 Pacific). If the playoff Red Wings show up, the Red Wings we know and love, all will be well. Remember those Wings? I do, because yesterday, the NHL Network replayed the Cup winning game of the 2007-2008 season and I saw the Red Wings play harder in the first two minutes of that game than I've seen them play in a long, long time. That's the team I want to see tonight and every night until Number 12 hits the air above the head of a certain Perfect Human a few short weeks from now.

I believe we can do it. More than that, I believe we have to do it, and I believe that the men wearing the wheel believe that, too. This is the 19th consecutive visit to the playoffs, and I've heard whispers somewhere along the line that 19 might be a number with some kind of significance in the world of the Red Wings. A number no one wants to disgrace. This is also the chance to correct a little mistake that happened just short of 10 months ago, a mistake that has haunted more than one Wings fan and fed a seething, simmering, bitter, acidic pool of rage just waiting to erupt like Ol' fucking Faithful and spew across the unwary. And I'm not just saying that because I really love being able to use the word "spew" in a post. I'm saying it because it's true. We have a mistake to correct, some excruciating mental images to erase, and some sloppy, dirty, smelly prints to wipe off of the Cup that rightfully belongs to us. The first step to making that happen will be taken tonight.

I'm counting on a very special group of men to make certain that the right thing happens tonight, and every night right up to the sweet, sweet end. I'm counting on the fact that there is no organization in professional sports with the kind of skill, heart, experience, and commitment that exists in the locker room at the Joe Louis Arena. I'm counting on the fact that each and every man who suits up in front of those lockers tonight knows that they serve at the pleasure of the Detroit Red Wings and that it's an honor and a privilege they'll want to remember to the end of their days. Each man in that room was asked to serve, to commit to giving their all to the organization, the city, the fans. The dynasty.

Break's over, Red Wings.

Game on.

The Pentultimate BJ: CBJ 3 - DET 4

2010-04-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

I actually missed the 1st Period today due to my ridiculous horse's ridiculous health problems, so you can thank him for sparing you from at least one paragraph of useless nonsense. I'll have to start this recap from period #2. You lucky bugger(er)s.

From what I could see, the Wings who played in the 2nd Period, at least, looked like they'd all listened to this week's TOV podcast. I say that because the cast this week seemed to agree that these last three games were not all that important given that our playoff spot had already been clinched. I can understand that feeling. As for our play, it seems like I've said this a lot this season, but it wasn't that we looked BAD so much as that we looked...human. Personally, I hate that. Just because we're locked into the playoffs doesn't mean we should stop playing like it matters, because it matters to the fans, if to no one else. Thankfully, at least Lilja decided to make a super play by diving across the net behind Howard to clear a goal that had bounced past the wunderkid. Not to be outdone, though, Jimmy followed up with a couple of fantastic saves to hold us in it for at least a little while longer. We ended the period the way we started it, down 2-1.

As Mike said during the period break, "we haven't been very good tonight." Ah, a Master of Understatement is Babs. And I didn't even know McGill offered it as a major. Unfortunately, the Wings didn't seem to have watched that interview because they didn't really get any better during the 3rd Period. We had a few stretches of good play here and there, but there were some bad stretches, too. There was one sequence where I shouted "how did that not go in" like 4 times in 2 minutes, but still. And then, at 8 minutes in, the tides turned. With a vengeance. The Wings scored 3 goals in 1:16, beginning with powerplay goals by Holmstrom/Zetterberg and Lidstrom, followed by an awesome shot by Cleary to bring us up to 4-2. Unfortunately, Mike Blunden scored quickly after that on a very good play that crashed the net and managed to slide past Howard. Score: 4-3. But the boys managed to hold out til the end. So, good on that.

Would I have liked a bit of a cleaner win? Sure. A more solid 60 minutes? Yup. But hey, the wins are what count, baby. And I'll take this one.

Fighting Dirty: DET 3 - PHL 4

2010-04-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

Wow. Philly came out FLYING in the 1st Period. Pun acknowledged, but not intended. They really did come out fast and hard. So fast and so hard that the Wings look shocked and a little rattled, especially when a stone-cold Ozzie let in a goal 17 seconds into the game. Admittedly, it was a baaaaaad turnover that led to the shot, but bad turnovers seem to be a story with us these days. This does not please me. Thankfully, after the initial surprise at a battling Leastern team wore off, the boys woke up and started playing, in spite of some of the worst non-calls ever in the history of NHL reffing. Finally, Cleary did some awesome work staying in front of the net and whacked one past Boucher at 14:08. A little over two minutes later, Buckets did some more good work and fed one to Helm who scored despite the broken nose he took early from Laperriere. Finished up the period with a scrum between the Mule and Hartnell, who apparently needed help from Pronger. 4 minutes of penalties on each side, and the period ended on a breath of relief.

Okay, you know what? Fuck the recap of the 2nd Period action. The only think worth talking about was the ridiculously atrocious reffing perpetrated by Paul Devorski and his Merry Men. Throughout the entire game, they managed to make weak calls on the Wings for (non)slashing, (non)holding, and (non)roughing, yet were unable to call Philly for charging, boarding, intent to injure, tripping, hooking, crosschecking, and ripping Pavel Datsyuk's helmet off his head TWICE.

At the end of two periods, Philly was up 2 points. Datsyuk managed to bring us within 1, but in the end we couldn't manage to tie it up.

I can't say the Wings were robbed in this game. They made a lot of sloppy plays and Ozzie looked rusty at the start. he warmed up as the game went on, but by then it was too late. So maybe we didn't deserve to win, but neither did Philly. No team deserves to win when they play so dirty it would take a nuclear decontamination chamber to clean them up.

In the end, the Flyers didn't win this game; Paul Devorski and the worst reffing in the NHL won this game.

The Magic Ass: NSH 4 - DET 3 (OT)

2010-04-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

I won't say we came out soft in the 1st Period, but Nashville came out a wee bit harder. Thankfully, we were willing to battle, so the first 5 minutes went pretty darn fast. Of course, Bert provided quite a bit of (non)comic relief with his regularly scheduled program of turnovers, but we still managed to scuttle the chances of repeating the last game (scoreless into a shoot out) by scoring on the PP at 18:15. The play was especially sweet because Datsyuk make a pass from his ass (literal AND poetic) to Homer, who whipped it across the front of the net to Franzen to Rafalski, who smacked it in. It was awesome. Pasha's ass, as Wings fans have always known, is magic.

The 2nd Period started with just over a minute on the PK. We managed to kill that off, but 2 Wings caught pucks on the defense without managing to clear the puck so Weber scored while we were aching for a change. Sucked. This seemed to set the tone for a dominant Nashville period. Erat brought the Preds ahead 2-1. Nick briefly tied it up with about 4 minutes to go, but Dumont ended the period with a goal bringing the score to 3-2 with 20 minutes left to play.

Only one word seems appropriate to describe the 3rd Period. Well, okay, only one word that rises above the level of profanity. Suckitude. Nashville is just way too good in the neutral zone. Way too good. Didn't seem to matter if we were up a man, down a man or even ons. It blew. Especially when Bert took a roughing penalty with a little over 5 minutes left. It was a battle right down to the last 2 minutes, one that stirred my ulcer, killed my appetite, put grey in my hair, and made me weep like Pens#87. I confess I was about to give up hope when Franzen brought the puck behind the Nashville net and passed it to Homer, who sent it sailing to a perfectly positioned Datsyuk. Pasha then sent a gorgeous one-timer up under the crossbar to tie it with 47 seconds left in regulation.

The Overtime period lasted all of sixteen seconds before Suter ended it with a shot past Jimmy. So that was disappointing, but you can't discount that we're still in 6th, we still have 2 games in hand on Nashville, and we don't really want to play Phoenix in the first round anyway, do we? So tomorrow is another day and the playoffs are still in sight. And I'm good with that.

LGRW!!!

Yeah Baby: CBJ 2 - DET 3

2010-04-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

The Red Wings seemed to start well enough for the 1st Period. I say only "well enough" because there wasn't a huge level of speed or intensity from either team. The first scoring came from Holmstrom at 2:21 off a shot from Datsyuk. Classic Wings play at the side of the net to get us off to a good start. Unfortunately, the lack of jump seemed to make us a little too casual because there were way too many turnover, which seems to be a recurrent theme this year. I thought we'd gotten it under control over the last few games, but another one in our own zone led to the BJs tying it up at just under 13 minutes in. Casual hockey is not the way to head into the playoffs.

Started the 2nd Period without obvious slacking, so points for that. The highlight of the period (aside from Bertuzzi's volleyball spike into the net, which, surprisingly was ruled a no goal) was Datsyuk's powerplay goal at 8:08 when he followed a beautiful takeaway and dangle-fest with an awesome snipe at the top of the net behind Steve Mason. So pretty I had to watch it three times before I was willing to catch up to the live game action.

In the 3rd period, Bert managed to make one count after a Zetterberg snipe bounced in off his skate. The goal was waved off by the official on the ice, but went for review. Oddly enough, the officials actually watched the replays and saw that rather than kicking the puck into the net, all Bert did was put his foot down on the ice and accidentally send the puck behind Mason. Really, I think they should just assume that was what happened. I mean, it's much more likely that Bert would score by accident these days than that he do so on purpose. That goal left us up 3-1, but on a powerplay with less than 2 minutes left, Columbus used a 2 man advantage (PP plus an empty net) to allow Umberger to sink one past Howard. Our boys held on, though, and battled right down to the horn to skate away with a 3-2 win.

That makes for 7 in a row and a Very Happy Christine. Only 5 left, and personally, I'm looking forward to keeping the skate to the throat of the Western conference and sailing into the playoffs on a thin film of the blood of our conquered enemies.

LGRW!!!

NEVER. AGAIN: EDM 4 - DET 5

2010-03-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

Wow, I was amazingly happy to see that we didn't spend the first 5 minutes of the 1st Period bent over and chanting "Thank you, Sir! May I have another?" while Edmonton "beat us like a rented mule." (Thanks, Babs.) We came out looking like we realized we were supposed to be playing hockey and managed some decent shots on net. I almost swallowed my tongue when the first to go in looked like it had been redirected off Lilja. I mean, LILJA! I still think it was actually Bambi's goal, which would make the world make sense again. In other first news, Kronner made it 2-0 on a sweet shot from right in front, Mule was robbed twice by Deslaurier, and Miller bagged it in a move so fast I missed it. We ended the period up 3-0 and I smiled, smiled smiled.

The first ten minutes of the 2nd Period stayed pretty decent and Franzen got a sweet goal at 16:31. The problem was that the Wings seemed to think that a four goal lead gave them permission to get lazy. This pissed me off and led to 2 goals late in the period. Apparently they thought with the lead and a solid 30 minutes of play, they could slack. I say NO SLACKING. EVER.

Okay, the 3rd Period needs to NEVER. HAPPEN. AGAIN. I don't know who came out of the Wings locker room after the 2nd intermission, but they didn't look like my Red Wings. At least, not the Red Wings we've been seeing recently. In fact, they ticked me off so much that I burned the hell out of my finger trying to make dinner and watch sloppy hockey at the same time, so I blame them for that, too. Thankfully, Pasha took a shot with just over a minute left and Stuart deflected it in. It went for a review of a high stick, but since neither Watson nor LaRue were reffing, the goal was upheld and we managed to hold Edmonton off for the last 1:05 for the win. Still, when it comes to blowing a 4 goal lead, I say it should NEVER. HAPPEN. AGAIN.

Holy Shit: DET 1 - NSH 0

2010-03-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

Since I was not lucky enough to make it to Detroit for the H2H Extravaganza, I woke up this morning without a hangover bad enough to prevent me from recapping this game. However, I did get up and 6 AM and spend the whole day trying to tire out my ridiculous dog, so I am exhausted. Too bad I don't think it will save you from a boring and long-winded recap.

We looked a little slow in the 1st Period, especially during the first seven or eight minutes. A little slow and a lot sloppy. Way too many turnovers and way too many shots getting through to Howard. Thankfully, James started on time (unlike the rest of the team) and kept us in it while we tried to wake up. Other than that, really the only thing worth mentioning is the fact that this game featured the Worst. Reffing. Ever. Seriously. Justin St. Pierre and Brad Watson are morons. I can think of no other reason for those calls; calls that left us with just over a minute of PK time going into the 2nd.

As for the 2nd Period...well, it looked an awful lot like the first. We had a little more energy and some more quality chances, but Rinne seemed determined to stand on his head in the Nashville goal, so nothing came of it. By the end of the period, we stood at 0-0. Which does not make for the most exciting viewing experience of my life.

After those two, it kind of blurred together. The 3rd Period was a clone of the other two, except on worse ice. Actually after the first minute, the ice seemed to deteriorate every damned second. It felt a little surreal to go three periods and an overtime without a single goal BY ANYONE, but as if 65 minutes weren't enough, we had to go not just to a shootout, but to an ELEVEN ROUND SHOOTOUT. I think my heart stopped halfway through round 6. If it had taken one more round, I think Babcock would have had to send Osgood out to take a shot. Everyone else already had. After Datsyuk, Williams, and Zetterberg all got stoned, Bertuzzi potted his shot to much rejoicing. The joy ended when Steve Sullivan got past Howard immediately after. We then got to watch Filppula, Miller, Holmstrom, Eaves (who fell without shooting...looked like he hit a bad patch of ice and lost his feet), AND Draper in futile attempts before Kronwall finally went and saved the day. I have always loved Kronner, but today he became my hero. Especially after Howard stopped the last Nashville attempt by Bouillon.

Really this game came down to a goaltending contest, which made it more intellectual than heart pounding. Pecker Rinne managed to stand on his head all night, but I have to say I've never seen James Howard play better. Tonight I bow before him. He literally ruled the ice, keeping us in it during our slow start and stepping up every single time he needed to. He was awesome and I hearby nominate him for President of Space (TM-BDS), the Calder, the Hart, Man of the Year, the Nobel Prizes in Peace, Literature, Economics, Chemistry and Physics, Catholic sainthood, and to be the Jewish messiah.

Tonight's win puts us on a season-record 5 game winning streak, jumps us up to 6th, and paves the golden road to the playoffs. Let the carnage begin!

LGRW!!!

What A MIGHTY FINE Day: MIN 2 - DET 6

2010-03-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to be able to manage a regular recap tonight. The whole H2H experience just overwhelmed me, and I wasn't even in Detroit. But I still felt like part of the plan, even sitting on my sofa and yelling at my dog that I couldn't let him out until the next commercial break.

I will say that the 1st period was pretty slow, the 2nd was ca-razy, and the 3rd wrapped everything up beautifully. Franzen scored twice, and Holmstrom, Ericsson, Datsyuk, and Miller each scored a goal. I knew it was a special night when someone mentioned on the WIM game thread that Lilja was +3 and Ericsson was +4 on the night. I mean, what more can you say?

All I'll say is that the game was awesome, and a fitting event for Herm's first ever live game. i hope he enjoyed it as much as we all enjoyed getting him this opportunity. And thanks to the Wings for a solid performance on the anniversary of The Beatdown and the anniversary of Jimmy Howard's birth. Despite him letting in a very weak goal in MN's 2nd of the night, he's been a monster for us and I hope he continues to be for a long, long time.

Today is a day when I'm proud to be a Wings fan. I mean, that's true every day, but today is special. Today we brought Herm to Hockeytown and showed the world why anyone who thinks that Red Wings fans are rude, crude, mean, or classless doesn't know Red Wings fans. We've clearly risen above the average hockey fan, and I like the view from here.

What A Day

2010-03-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

March 26, 2010. A date that will live in infamy. For any number of reasons. So many, in fact, that it's tough to figure out where to start, but I'll give it a shot...

St. Darren's Day: On this day in 1997, Darren McCarty went from beloved Grind Line winger to Hockeytown's Hero when he took Claude "Turtle" Lemieux to the ice as retaliation for Lemieux's 1996 hit on teammate and best friend Kris Draper. It wasn't the first fight of the infamous Fight Night at the Joe Brawl in Hockeytown (that distinction goes to scuffles involving Brent Severyn and Jamie Pushor, then Kirk Maltby and Rene Corbet, as well as a scrap between Peter Forsberg and Igor Larianov that opened the door for McCarty's move) but the McCarty-Lemieux incident is the one we all remember. It was the reason, the motivation, and the culmination of a year's worth of suppressed rage on the part of the Wings and dirty play on the part of the Avs.

We'll never forget it, and we'll never forget Mac for doing it. In fact, he's one of the reasons I became a Wings fan, so thanks, Mr. McCarty. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have guarding my back.
Jimmy Howard's Birthday:

Image by Reuters/Rebecca Cook c/o Yahoo!Sports

I'd like to wish James Tiberius a Very Happy Birthday, with many, many returns. May he live a long, healthy life in our net! (You know, as long as he continues to play like a top goalie and live up to the kind of "putting the team in teammate" spirit the Wings fans have come to expect. But all he needs to do at this point is hold steady, and I think he'll have it all sewn up.)
Herm 2 Hockeytown: This one stirs up a wellspring of mixed emotions in me, not least among which at the moment is envy. I'm envious of the rest of the 19 (all, what, 150 of them?) who have managed to make it to Detroit to celebrate this momentous occasion. I wish with all my heart that I could be there to join in the debauch--er, I mean, the festivities.

But even stronger than my envy is the sense of pride I feel in having plaid even an infinitessimal role in this amazing phenomenon. I can't think of any other group of fans who would take it upon themselves to bring an isolated individual from a foreign country to Detroit for the simple reason that they all believe no Wings fan should ever have to endure not having seen the team playing live at their home arena. But the 19 didn't stop there. Oh, no. Not only did they indeed get Herm to Hockeytown, they also raised thousands of dollars in charitable contributions and turned a collection of hockey bloggers into a fund-raising machine.

H2H has proven that no matter what others might say about us, no matter what slurs the Wild fans and the Pens fans and the Hawks fans and the whoever fans throw at us, the true fans of the Detroit Red Wings are just amazingly generous and giving and devoted and simply good human beings. And I'm proud to be part of that group. Hey, we might drink and curse and make lewd suggestions and give shit where shit is deserved, but H2H has proved we're good people. In fact, I think it's made us better people.

So I say, raise a glass to Herm 2 Hockeytown, to Herm, to the 19, and to the Detroit Red Wings. Drink heartily in the knowledge that all the fun you're having doesn't just represent a good time, it represents a good bunch of people, a great bunch of fans, and better things for the kids at the Children's Hospital of Michigan. Hell, that's worth at least two glasses.

And on behalf of those of us who can't be in Detroit this weekend, remember that we're with you in spirit, and have another glass for us. We wish we could join you.

And we CAN'T WAIT for next year!!!

Game Recap: STL 2 - DET 4

2010-03-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

There was a bit of a boredom factor in the 1st Period. Not because the Wings were bad, but because they had no urgency. They didn't suck as bad as we've seen earlier this season, by any means, but neither did they seem to display any of the hunger I'd expect at this point in this particular season. Plus, the turnover thing was a little crazy, and led to Kariya's goal at 5:39. Brad Stuart even said it in the intermission interview, that they needed to figure out why they weren't playing hard enough and fix it. I'm all about fixing it.

The 2nd Period started with a rush and a chance by St. Louis, but the Wings finally seemed to find their feet and Z potted an ugly one at 0:26. then he and Bert followed up at 4:35 thanks to the first few minutes of sustained pressure of the game, which made things much more interesting that the 1st had been. James made some nice saves (I feel bad calling him Jimmy after he manned up against Pens#87), and during a 4 minute PK, Miller had a nice breakaway attempt that, of course, he was unable to finish. The pace of the whole period felt much faster than the first, but the last 6 or 7 minutes were blistering. It was awesome.

Of course, the highlight of the 3rd Period was Bambi's gorgeous sweep of a bad rebound from right under Conklin's nose at 13:11 in the period. Seriously, right under his nose. Rafi had fired in a shot from outside the blueline that bounced right off Conks, who seemed to waffle over what he wanted to do with it. It dropped to the ice right in front of him and Filppula came sprinting in between two Blues, swept the puck up with his stick and darted to Conks' left to sneak the puck in behind it. It was a thing of beauty. And with just 12 seconds to go in the game, Bambi sealed the deal with an empty netter. Loved it.

Friday night's game against the Wild is next up, and it also happens to be H2H night, as well as the anniversary of the one and only actual Fight Night at the Joe, the Brawl in Hockeytown, the Day of St. Darren (McCarty). Let's win one for all those reasons and more. Let's win it because we need it.

Let's win it because we're the Red Wings.

Tool

2010-03-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

Personally, I think watching this clip is self-explanatory, but if you need a commentary, go here and see Red Wings Hardware's superb summary of what the events at the end of last night's game really means.

(This Is Not A) Game Recap: PIT 1 - DET 3

2010-03-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

And the reason this is not a recap is because this damned game was on Gary Bettman(ass) Vanity Television(tm) and I couldn't sustain a web feed for more than 2 minutes at a time, so I had to wait with bated (not baited) breath for the final score and the highlights before I could comment on the game. Not having seen the game does nothing to harm my credibility as a commentator. After all, I have zero credibility when I have seen the game.

Anyway, all I can say about this one is, "YES!!! SUCK THAT YOU MOTHERF!*#ERS!!!"

Well, I can also say that I heart Henrik Zetterberg; that my vote goes to Jimmy Howard for President of Everything; that Valteri Filppula shall henceforth be called Bambi on this blog because of his doe-eyes in the Hockeytown: No Limits commercial, but that doesn't discount my love of his increasingly awesome play; and that Pens#87 (because from now on I refuse to acknowledge the piece of trash that is Sidney Crosby by name) makes me want to vomit.

All of the highlight reels tonight feature the stunningly mature actions of an uber-frustrated Pens#87 attacking Zetterberg at the sounding of the horn to close the game. Such a model of the behavior a hockey fan wants to see from the captain of one of the poster-franchises of the league. Way to maintain your dignity there, Pens#87. Nice example for the kids. I'd like to give Jimmy Howard a big, wet kiss, though, for stepping into it and dragging Pens#87 away to the boards in defense of his teammate. Not since the first time I watched little Mikey Vernon launch himself at the behemoth Patrick Roy have I cheered so hard for a goalie. Go, Jimmy! I love you, man!

So, in summary... YES!!! GO WINGS!!!

Game Recap: DET 4 - VAN 3 (OT)

2010-03-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was, like, a game. I mean, totally. Enough of one so that I'm even going to change the recap format. Mostly because I think they've been too long. I'm going to try a prose format to just hit the highlights.

The 1st Period started a lot better than last night's game. First, because we managed to keep the opposing team from scoring for 4 minutes and 10 seconds, as opposed to letting one in during the first minute. We played with a lot more hustle, but The Nucks managed to figure out that they could sneak 'em past Howie from the point and did so, twice, leaving us to go into the second down 0-2.

Thankfully, we seemed to view that as motivation, because we came out for the 2nd Period with all motors running, and what a period it was! Fast and furious, it was a battle up and down the ice until 12:34 when Bertuzzi managed to tip in a puck that was sitting at Bieksa's feet after a battle in front on the Vancouver net. It was sweet. But sweeter still was Datsyuk's score off the face-off immediately following, which managed to tie to game in the span of 5 seconds. Then five minutes later, Filppula picks up a pass from Kronwall for a breakaway and a shorthanded goal that brought a tear to my eye and earned $40 of my money for the H2H fund. I've never been happier to donate. Of course, i have to give all the credit for those goals to the fact that FS Detroit did a player profile on Helm that told us his favorite player was Joe Sakic (ugh) and mentioned our very own Nightmare on Helm Street! Cheers to the NOHS boys and the heartfelt thanks of the entire Wings nation!!!

Second intermission barely seemed long enough to let me catch my breath. I was all geared up for the 3rd Period, but then the Wings came out and played like the Keystone cops, which did not make me happy. Dumb choices, bad giveaways, sloppy play in the zone. We were not amused. We did manage to pull together eventually, but still let one in off a dumb turnover to tie it up 3-3.

The OT Period almost killed me. Bertuzzi managed some of the dumbest passes in hockey history to give the Nucks way too many chances at stopping my heart. Just as I resigned myself to another shoot out loss (because what else happens when we go to shootouts?), our precious boy Zetterburg managed to score with 0.3 seconds left on the OT clock. I mean seriously. I thought last night's tie goal to take us to OT the night before was insane, but this one beat it. If I could, I'd have it bronzed.

And the end result made me weep with gratitude. 4-3. A win. 2 points. Heaven!!!

Game Day: DET 2 @ EDM 3 (SO)

2010-03-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what I was expecting from tonight, but I really shouldn't have been surprised by the first 10 minutes of this game. I mean, judging by the way we've played this season thus far, a game against the worst team in the league is exactly the kind of game we can expect to lose. Also, coming off breaks (the Olympic break excepted) hasn't done much for us this year, either. Basically tonight seemed predestined for total FUBAR.

1st Period

Is this a new tradition? This giving up a goal in the first 2 minutes thing. Or in tonight's case, the first 1 minute. Because if so, I gotta tell ya, I'm not a fan.
We suck off breaks, we suck against lousy teams, we suck against bottom-tier goalies, and we suck in the first 5 minutes. This is the reality of our season thus far. Now, how much does admitting all that suck? A lot. We're talking SMW*.

2nd Period

Basically the 1st period sucked. And the 2nd wasn't much better. I think the less said the better. Until St Patrick Eaves scored off a great Helm/Draper play. Have I mentioned I love that Little Red Corvette Line? 'Cause, I do.
Finally got a powerplay with only a couple of minutes left in the period, then wasted it. I particularly liked Filppula fumbling a decent pass and letting the puck sail back into the defensive zone. Not.

3rd Period

An insane exercise in wide shots and futile passes. I honestly don't know how we can live with ourselves when we play like this against teams that are this far below is in the standings. It's just stoo-pid.
The period ended on a crazy note with our savior, Brian Rafalski, potting a shot with just 0.03 seconds on the clock. The Wings nation went crazy, Twitter exploded, and at least a hundred people I'm aware of offered to bear Rafalski's child. I was one of them.

OT and SO

We couldn't quite manage to score in the OT period, so we went to a shoot out, at which point the Wings nation dispaired. Why? Because our dear James, while proving better than anyone expected him to be this season, SUCKS in a shootout. He just does. And apparently, God is mad at Datsyuk, because his prayers before his shot got him nowhere. I didn't see if Filppula prayed, but he should have. Maybe it would have helped.

In summary, it could have been worse. We got a point. Which was better than the alternative, but I'm seriously sick of this trend of struggling against bad teams. We're better than this. Now we just need to remember that.

*SMW=Syphilitic Moose Wankie, my absolute measure of the worst sucking able to occur in our reality.

3 In A Row!

2010-03-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

I honestly didn't think I was going to last? I almost broke down during Rafalski's gorgeous powerplay goal to win the Buffalo game. And the tension of the Calgary game was way too much for me. I couldn't keep my mouth shut (because saying I couldn't keep my fingers still just sounds...dirty).

1st Period

Okay, the first couple of minutes, I swear I thought we were asleep out there. It looked like we were skating through mud. Either that, or someone had secretly replaced my regular Red Wings players with residents of the local retirement home, just to see if I'd notice. I did. And I wasn't happy. Hence, the quick goal by Calgary.
We seemed to shake off the haze after the first five minutes, which was a big relief, but we still couldn't seem to get one in the net. We rang a couple of posts, and Drew Miller looked like his head was going to explode if he missed on one more shot, but honestly you'd think he'd realize after the 4th miss that maybe he should try to throw it in from a different angle.

2nd Period

Looked much more energetic, which I liked, but still couldn't manage to get anything past Kiprusoff. I swear to God, it looked like that man had 12 pairs of eyes and not a single one of them ever moved from the puck. It made me sick.
The lack of calls against Calgary inspired me to consider launching a line of NHL Referee/Linesman voodoo dolls on the market. But then I remembered that Kerry Fucking Fraser was retiring at the end of this season and it didn't seem worth it any more.
Thent he heavens opened and fate smiled down on us in the form of Pavel Datsyuk's amazing shot and goal that tied us up 1-1. I love that crazy little Russian.

3rd Period

Came out with an early shot, which made me happy. I hoped quite intensely to stay happy for 20 more minutes.
My heart stopped when Rafalski went to the box for 4 minutes for an accidental high sticking that drew blood. Thanks to the boys for doing an awesome job killing it off and preserving my sanity. For a few more minutes at least.
And then, and then, we closed the game with the most gorgeous of gorgeous goals off a priceless move by the Mule finished with the incomparable skill of Tomas Holmstrom. Followed by the most nerve-wracking minute and 19 seconds of my life. but the bottom line? We won it. We WON IT, BABY!!!!

So bottom line? 2 points over the team biting at our ass, a three point lead to help us hang onto 8th, and the teensiest little bit of breathing room. And we did it by playing like Wings, for which I am happy to give well-deserved credit. Now let's keep it up and take a stand in the playoffs.

Plus, you know, there's that whole part about this being THREE IN A ROW!!! YAY!!!

GO WINGS!!!

On Strike

2010-03-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

What's up with the blog? Am I just too black-n-blue to type? Have I given up on hockey in favor of home ownership? Have I just stopped caring?

No, but it seems like the Wings have.

I watched the Chicago game, as evidenced by the blog entry, and I watched the Calgary game, too. I even had a blog entry all written and ready to go up, but you know what? That effort didn't deserve a blog entry. I mean, what was I supposed to write? That the Wings played the same old game they've been playing all season? That it was another case of playing only a fraction of the full sixty minutes? That the team worked themselves into a decent position and then fell apart like a bunch of kids who've never seen a run to the playoffs before? Yeah, that would have been all insightful and junk.

So with that in mind, I can assure you that I am definitely (and currently) watching the Minnesota game, and I'll be watching the Buffalo game and the Calgary rematch as well, but you know what? Until the Wings can put in the effort to win, say, 3 games in a row, I don't see why I should give the effort to blog 3 games in a row. I'm on strike, and the Wings have the power to break through my picket line like a wrecking ball through papier mache.

All they need to do is start playing like Wings.

So there.

Game Day: DET @ CHI 03/07/10

2010-03-07T12:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know, I've been an absent blogger. My excuse is that I'm trying to buy a house right now, and it's not the kind of smooth, easy process that HGTV makes it out to be. In fact, at the moment, I'd like to introduce HGTV to the business end of one of Franzen's death shots for being such deceptive fuckers. But anyway, I did get to watch a game. And here's what I saw:

1st Period

Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Can we have a discussion about those turnovers? Or better yet, can we just stop making them?
Since I watched the first through my fingers, that's all I'm going to say there. Other than to state that building a drinking game around calls against Chicago ignored by the officials would lead to some serious blood alcohol poisoning

2nd Period

I admit, at first I was afraid. I was petrified, thinking I could never live with seeing another thumping by Chicago. But then the 3rd Hawk goal was waived off because of By-Fugly-In's clear goaltender interference that the NBC commentators seemed to have been watching with their eyes closed, based on their chatter about it
Then the powerplay and 4-on-3 goals back to back made me jump up and do a little dance in my living room
These were followed by a gorgeous Zetterberg to Williams goals, which Williams managed to pot in spite of a stick to the back that sent him to the ice. Loved that.
Then Bert to Filppula did the pretty and chased Huet from the net. At that point I got hoarse. But in a happy, happy way
Okay, and I have to say that one of the highlights of my life so far was watching the camera fix on Huet on the bench only to see him hiding his face in shame. I'm not sorry to say I giggled
Really noticed Chicago being clued into Helmer. They put someone in front of him whenever possible to keep his breakaway chances to a minimum. Apparently, word's starting to get out that this kid might have some speed
Did not enjoy seeing Bert limp off the ice after a tangle with Eager. I really don't think we need another injury. Especially not another knee
But then the gorgeous steal and breakaway by Datsyuk just made my panties wet, and everything seemed okay. Seriously, as my roommate said, Pasha is the Artful Dodger of the NHL.

3rd Period

Okay, do we really need to do our old slacker routine as soon as we have a good lead? Come on, guys, you're supposed to be better than this
Thanks be that Kane made a heinous decision to pass to Hossa rather than take his shot, because that would have made it 5-4. I don't like 5-4
Loved Franzen's visual commentary on the Blackhawks' diving for penalties. I giggled again
That hat-trick goal by Ladd was weaker than it should have been. Howard should have had that one. He gets a smack upside the head for that
Okay, this last minute of the game is killing me. KILLING. ME
Wow, how appropriate was it that this game ended with a scrum at the side of the Detroit net? And we pulled it out. So take THAT you so-called "best team in the league"! A pox on you and all your houses! Bwaahahahahahaaaaaa!

So, yeah, I'm pleased with that one. And it's about damned time. Thanks for playing like Wings after the 1st intermission, Wings.

Was I Dead?

2010-02-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

Not quite, but I tell you there were days when I wished...

No, I was chained to my desk working on a project that was supposed to be finished a month ago, but it. Just. Wouldn't. Die. I finally killed it at 2 this morning, so I'm back for the rest of the season, just in time for the break. And let me tell you, I'm expecting a reboot during those two weeks. Because I am not impressed with recent performances.

Anyway, 'nuff said. The Bitter Blues are up tomorrow night with the Mule back in the line up, so I'm hoping he'll make my return a memorable one. You know, in a GOOD way.

Ah, it's good to be back. I missed you guys!

Game Recap: DET 3 - CAR 1

2010-01-14T19:08:00.000-08:00

We needed to win this one. I don't think I'm shocking anyone with this news. Thankfully, as opposed to most other games that we've needed to win, we actually took this one. Who'da thunk? Thankfully we got really good games from Lidstrom (who scored! Yay!), Eaves, and Miller, in addition to decent games from most of the rest of the team. Although Filppula took more penalties than May and Bertuzzi combined. Whoa.

Period 1

Well, we actually skated in the first ten minutes, so win there
Nick Lidstrom finally scored, and I wept with joy like a little baby girl. Also, it was great to see him smiling and joking about himself in the interview with Keating. I love that nothing shakes Nick
During one PK shift late in the period, Eaves took 2 hard pucks from Staal, skated to the boards, cleared the puck, then took a high stick to the head. And was back out a short shift later. I loved it. I so want him back next season
Basically, I was happy with this period. I'd have liked it we'd offered a little more sustained pressure, especially at the start of the period, but considering how we've started so many firsts this season, I really can't complain.

Period 2

Wow, continued with the decent play. I was amazed, yet grateful
Miller scored the game's 2nd goal, which also happened to be the 2nd powerplay goal of the game. Who remembered such a thing was even possible?
Kerry Fraser actually made an interference call to the benefit of Detroit. I think the only reason it happened was because the Carolina player knocked a Wing directly into Fraser
There was major interference on Filppula's rush to the net, which resulted in another powerplay, but was actually the closest I've seen to something that deserved the penalty shot that Ken Daniels loves to predict
Bert had a brilliant breakaway at one point. And totally missed the net. I'm pretty sure that was just for you, Petrella
Miller actually had a really nice game tonight. Bertuzzi, on the other hand, made a spectacular run of shots that missed the net. It was almost like having Sammy back
Flip also looked good tonight, even though he was tripped, hooked and interfered with more than I've seen in a long time. Of course, he also did more of that himself that I'm used to seeing him do

Period 3

Looked a bit slower in the third, which didn't make me too happy. But I don't think it was fatigue causing that awful rebound Jimmy left for Carolina to score on
Maltby made a great defensive play at the end of a PK caused by Filppula taking another penalty. Maltby's play was nice to see. Flip's, not so much.
Bertuzzi drew two penalties on one play at the end of the game. What's up with that?
Final score: DET 3 - CAR 1

Summary
Well, we won it. Thank God. A much better effort than Tuesday, but then, we could have skated eighteen corpses and had a better effort than Tuesday. But hey, 2 pts is 2 pts. I'll take it.

Thanks, boys.

Game Day: CAR @ DET 1/14/10

2010-01-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

I have only two wishes tonight:

That Detroit NOT TURN IN A SUCKFEST OF SUCK that SUCKS THE LIFE OUT of me, leaving me whimpering and SUCKING my thumb in despair
That we WIN THIS DAMNED GAME

That is all.

Go Wings.

Game Recap: DET 0 - NYI 6

2010-01-12T18:22:00.000-08:00

~~Period 1~~

~~One of those games. The ones where we started out looking disoriented and disorganized. To the tune of 1 down less than 2 minutes in.~~
~~At one point Leino was behind the net with Abby and it looked like he was trying to strip the puck off him. Did he defect and not tell us? Is he a double agent? Is that why he's been sucking for us?~~
~~Seriously, a messy, horrible period. I closed my eyes until the horn.~~

~~Period 2~~

~~Just a parade of bad decisions tonight.~~
~~10 minutes in, Howard gets pulled and Ozzie skates in. No discernible change detected. Well, not beyond 1 shift~~

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT.

Game Day: DET @ NYI 1/12/10

2010-01-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

Deadlines. I hate deadlines. All I have time for is a few quick wishes.

Tonight I wish that:

Detroit does not offer one of its patented "we're better than this team so we don't have to work hard and will therefore suffer a humiliating defeat" games. I hate those games. They kind of piss me off
Darren Helm makes it 6 goals in 6 games
Nick Lidstrom decides not to wait for Ericsson to return on Thursday (so he hopes) before he scores his first goal in 17 years
Jimmy Howard proves to have the stamina of a porn star and turns in another stellar performance
Ville Leino either plays so spectacularly that I am forced to hang my head in shame for ever having doubted him, or does actually falls on his ass somewhere in the middle of the ice with no other players around him so that I can laugh and point for several minutes while insulting him in my grandmother's Lithuanian
Final score: DET 4 - NYI 1

Game Recap: DET 4 - SJ 1

2010-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

This was a nice big win, and a better game than we've played in a couple of weeks. Very happy to see that.

Period 1

Great period for Abby, as far as creating chances. Less great as far as making them count
Thanks be to Brad Stuart. I love a defenseman who plays, you know, defensively
Spent a bit too much time in the SJ zone, but I'm starting to resign myself to the fact that until we get our starting lines back, we're not going to play very pretty hockey. The important thing is to focus on the wins. If we can get them.

Period 2

You know, I was thinking this game could have gone a lot worse up to this point. We looked outmatched, but not completely outclassed. I suppose that's something
Finally a great goal from Pasha. It seems like that hasn't happened for about 7-1/2 years.
Then goals almost back-to-back from Eaves and Cleary. That put a smile on my face
I spent a lot of time watching Howard, since a lot was made of his being "more lucky than good" on Thursday. Frankly, I think we might have to get used to his semi-Hasek style. He's not nearly as controlled as the goalies we're used to seeing (chiefly Ozzie) but while he flops around a lot, he generally does it fast and in the right direction. If that's what he does, that's fine with me as long as it stops pucks
I can't believe that Kerry fucking Fraser called a reviewed goal in our favor. I honestly think the A/C kicked on in hell...

Period 3

Noticed Filppula a good bit, but I'd still like to notice him scoring
This was Darren Helm's best game ever. And considering how good he's been all season, that's saying something. That kid...damn. Words fail me
Danny Cleary obviously not a fighter. More of a get-the-fuck-off-me-er
After the 4th Wings goal, the game went insane for a good five or six minutes. It was awesome, high energy hockey, and I loved it

Summary
See, this game illustrates perfectly why I think Red Wings fans have been so frustrated this season. If we can play like this, with these flashes of brilliance, against a team that's this good and riding a streak this hot, how are we not on top of the conference? We're clearly better than we've been playing so far, and tonight we showed it. So I'm damned sure not going to be happy if we don't keep playing more like this.

Game Day: DET @ SJ 1/9//10*

2010-01-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

*Alternate title: I'm A Big Slacker

Well, I was going to recap the LA game yesterday, but everyone else did it before me and quite likely better than I would have, so that's my excuse. I plan to stick with it. But I will just throw in here, that James Howard rocked it hard.

And I had some ideas for some interesting (to me...who else reads these?) posts in the next week or so, but I have a book deadline currently biting me in the ass, so they'll have to wait. In the meantime, the best I can do is my lame wish list preview.

Tonight, I wish:

That Jimmy will continue to justify Babcock's faith in him and to stoke the fires of bitter resentment in Ozzie's heart. Maybe that will mean Oz comes out and throws the kind of game he's capable of the next time he gets to see the net
That Hank scores, thus demonstrating that he's not letting some gritty Newfie show him up by coming off an injury hotter than him
That Bertuzzi goes back to scoring ridiculous goals instead of taking ridiculous penalties (sorry, Petrella!)
~~That Leino counts as more than a waste of ice so I can finally eat my words about him (don't think I'm going to skip dinner waiting for that to fill me up, though)~~ Ha! apparently Uncle Mike has as much faith in the Finnish Flop as I do. He's apparently not skating tonight
That our defense actually plays defensively and responsibly someplace other than directly in front of Howard. I appreciate the effort in that space, but I'd like to see it expanded a little bit
That Nick Lidstrom will play a game that will keep me from squinting at him and asking anyone in hearing distance, "Does he look hurt to you? I think he looks hurt. Do you think he looks sore?"
That Darren Helm once again scores and makes me shout "Oh, you beautiful baby boy!" at the TV like the dirty cougar he makes me feel like
That NO ONE ELSE GETS INJURED
Final Score? DET 3 - SJ 2

I'm not naive enough to think this one will be anything but ugly, but I'm optimistic (and masochistic) enough to think that if we work hard, we can grind it out.

Go Wings.

Dude

2010-01-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

I'm going to have to recap that tomorrow. Not because it's 1:00 AM, since it's only 10:00 here in the PacNW, but because that game caused such stress on my heart that I need to go take a couple nitroglycerin capsules before I pass out.

Suffice it to say a much better effort than Tuesday. MUCH. And no matter what anyone says about Jimmy's performance, if you save 51-out-of-52 shots, you get a gold star in my book.

G'night, all. Hope you all sleep as peacefully as I intend to.

Game Day: DET @ LA 1/7/10

2010-01-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

Right. Zetterberg and Cleary are back. Homer is out. Is that really the kind of trade we need to make? Honestly? Somehow I think this might be linked to how, over and over this season, I keep finding myself bent over the furniture and feeling chafed...

But anyway, I digress. Tonight the Wings are in LA against the Kings. Normally, that sentence would elicit nothing more than a desire to get the win over with so we could move on to the next opponent. Not this season. This season, I'll watch through squinted eyes from behind my slightly spread fingers and chant a few prayers to the gods we already know aren't listening because I'm just that stubborn.

So for tonight I have only one wish:

Please, God, let no one else get hurt
And let's win this.

Okay, so that's two wishes.

Oh, and let Jimmy play the game that makes Quick's spot on the US team look ridiculous. Not that I'm not glad Jimmy's just sticking around during the break, but I'd still enjoy the statement

That makes three. Three wishes. I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead.

Go Wings.

What. Ever.

2010-01-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Do we really have to talk about this? Really? You wouldn't rather join me for a nice root canal? Oh, all right. Spoilsport.

Period 1
Not ten seconds after my housemate commented that the Wings looked good in the first few minutes, there was a ridiculous turnover in the neutral zone that led to such a parade of suckitude that I nearly barfed on her dog. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. We gave up so many turnovers, we should have been wearing little white chef's toques with dustings of flour on our cheeks.

And that is ALL I'm going to say about the first period. I will now begin pretending that it.
Never. Fauxing. Happened.

Period 2
Here, we saw less absolutely ridiculous, Keystone-style play, and instead got treated to the Wings of about a month ago. It wasn't so much that we played horribly as that we couldn't finish to save our bloody lives. Or my sanity. And at this point, I began to despair a little. I wasn't even sure I wanted to see the third period...

Period 3
Oh, the hell with it. I gave up about five minutes in and let the roommate turn on a Golden Girls marathon. Saw Flip's goal, so at least it wasn't a shutout, but it was as lackluster as one, so same diff.

Summary
As, the Chief would say, "vomit." Let's hope that when we get to LA, we remember what playing a hockey game is supposed to look like.

G'night, all. I should have just watched the WJC game and quit while I was ahead.

Squeeee!

2010-01-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

Oh my God. I'm so excited, I could just cry.

Johan Franzen skates with team for first time.

Do A Good Deed

2010-01-05T14:21:00.000-08:00

Donate.

C'mon. You know you wanna. And it's good for the soul. Just ask Scrooge.

Seriously, if you missed the story due to life under a rock, go here. If you need the update, every donation at this point is gravy that gets funneled directly to the Children's Hospital of Michigan. What could be better than that?

Game Day: DET @ DISNEY 1/5/10

2010-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm having a day so far, so this will be brief. Tonight is the second game of a five-game road trip through the west. And, you know, New York, since that's totally on the way from San Jose to Detroit. The first game (v. Phoenix) went well, but the next 3 are ones we need to go as well or better. Specifically, wins against LA on Thursday and San Jose and Saturday are key to our clawing our way up the standings and tightening our grip on a playoff spot, but to my mind, tonight's game vs. the Mighty *Ucks is equally important not because of the standings or the challenge or the points, but because I loathe and despise Anaheim and I cannot countenance ever not taking a chance to slaughter this team and then spit on its corpse.

Did I mention it's been a rough day?

Anyway, here's tonight's wish list:

First and foremost, that Ville Leino get splinters in his ass riding the bench in the press box. I don't care if the seating is neither wooden, nor a bench. He deserves no less
That Nick Lidstrom continue his offensive push from the last game and actually put something in the net that carries his name up front
That Jimmy Howard keep doing that voodoo that he do so well
That Helm manages to continue his new follow-through into something other than an empty net. At least once. I'd say twice, but I don't want to be greedy
Aw, hell, I wanna see Draper do something awesome, just for old times' sake
That Datsyuk continue to do such amazingly innovative things as shoot the damned puck and actually pot 1. No, make that 2. To hell with greedy
That Filppula prove not all Finns are worthless (at least HE bellongs on this team) and get his first goal since his return. Actually, his first since October, I think. That would rock the Casbah, baby
That Abby make not just hits but a Kronwallian hit. I long for some open ice devastation, and while it's a bit much to ask of the new kid, I don't know if I can wait til Kronner is both back AND back up to full speed/strength
Final score? DET 5 - DISNEY 2

Since I nailed the score last time, I predict that this one will be wildly inaccurate, but hopefully we'll still end up with more than the *Ucks. And that's really all a girl can ask for.

Let's Go Red Wings!

A Season for Tomorrow?

2010-01-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

Kris at Snipe, Snipe, Dangle, Dangle put up an awesome post yesterday (okay, several awesome posts, but I'm specifically talking about one of them) about the Wings' season so far and how it measures against fan expectations, and asked some amazing questions that really got me thinking. How should we feel about this season so far? Disappointed? Pleasantly surprised? Homicidal? Suicidal? Or should our brains have long since exploded in frustration?

Of course, the only reason for having this conversation is the injury bug. Without it, this season would have seen an entirely (or near enough to excuse the expression) different roster on the ice. I don't think many people would argue that with the roster we were all expecting, we wouldn't be clinging to the 9th position in the West by the skin of our toenails. We'd be looking back at the rest of the conference over our shoulders, that comfortable old smile of smug superiority plastered on our faces.

But here's my argument du jour: we still are superior. Let's examine the evidence, shall we?

We've spent the bulk of this season so far skating our frickin' farm team against the best teams in the NHL and we're one spot out of the playoffs. ONE SPOT. Take a moment to ponder that. I'll wait.

*crickets chirping*

I know it's been said before, but for God's sake, where would any other NHL team in our situation be at this point? The answer: Cellar city, sweetheart. Most teams would have thrown up their hands, written it off, and be waiting for next year. We're not even waiting for the next period. We're out there every night battling in the playoffs 4 months before the playoffs are ready to start (thanks, Chief, for pointing this out). Has it been pretty? Hell, no. But pretty can go faux itself. We're the girl with the "great personality" right now--not the belle of the ball, but damned if we won't entertain you better than a supermodel if you let us get a word in edgewise. And we're damned good in bed, too.

But to my mind, this here is the real kicker: We're skipping about 17 steps in preparing the next generation of Wings to kick ass and take names.

The Wings are never the young whippersnappers of the NHL. We prize experience and skill over youth and enthusiasm. Now I'm sure as heck not going to argue with that system, but it does tend to leave us icing more players who are closer to retirement than most other teams, so we take the risk of having more players retire at the end of any one season and leaving us with big holes to fill.

For most other teams, an exodus of experienced players brings about that dread creature, the "rebuilding year." I'd like to argue that this year is as close to a rebuilding year as the Red Wings are likely to get in a while, and we owe that to the injury bug. Instead of having this season in 5 years with a bunch of inexperienced players trying to pick up the slack left by retired stars, in 5 years, we'll have a squad packed with guys in their prime who've already paid the dues, learned the ropes, and can step right up into greatness. I call that a win. we might not like having to develop our players this fast, but I'll be damned if we're not going to benefit from it in the long run.

So how bout them apples?

Game Recap: DET 4 - PHX 1

2010-01-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how short and sweet a recap can be when the Wings don't give me a lot to bitch about. This was a good, solid effort that warmed the cockles of my Detroit loving heart. Did I get everything on my wish list? No, but I got the final score, and frankly, I'll take that baby and run. Gladly.

Period 1
Well, the less said about the very beginning of this period, the better. Number one, because the first ten minutes made us look like a bunch of 90-year-old men skating our way through a bad bursitis flare; and number two, because if it weren't for Jimmah, we'd have been down 3-0 before anyone on the team managed to straighten their joints into an upright position. Thankfully, things started to pick up in time for the 2nd powerplay, leading to Homer's goal on the tip off Lidstrom's shot right after the PP clock wound down. The last 5 minutes did end up being quite awesome.

Period 2
Better effort, but what was with those calls? I swear to God the refs were just making shit up there. Once again, the Draper-Helm-Eaves line made me resent the fact that none of them has the hands to be a 1st liner, because if they did, we'd be the frickin' ugly, nuclear-powered juggernaut of the NHL.

Other than Line 3, my POTG so far? Totally Nick Lidstrom. True, Homer got credit for 2 goals, but The Perfect Human was making shit happen out there, which to me is more important than the goals going under his name.

Period 3
Nice consistent effort again, which I like to see. I have to say I still haven't noticed Leino much tonight, but I'm seeing Nick Lidstrom a lot, and that can make up for almost anything. Homer has also looked awesome, and Datsyuk is totally waking up. Finally. Loved his goal. Of course, it's hard not to love a Datsyuk goal.

Come to think of it, it's hard not to love ANY goal this season.

And another Helmer empty-netter. Oh, yes, tonight, life is sweet.

Summary
Okay, apparently I have to choose between slow starts, 60 randomly inconsistent minutes, and quitting before the clock runs out. If tonight is a prime example of slow starts, I'll take it. The first 10 minutes were ugly, but once the Wings settled into it, it turned into a good 50-minute session of hustle and flow. Minus the prostitution part.

Jimmy was awesome, once again. I think the debate over "is he the starter" is moot, at this point. As long as he keeps starting, that makes him the de facto starter, doesn't it? And as long as he keeps playing like this, I'm happy to have him keep starting, stopping, and doing everything else in between.

All in all, tonight made me happy and kicked the new year off to a great start. Let's hope we can keep it up and claw our way back up the standings. I see no reason why we shouldn't. And once we get out injuries back on the ice, I see no reason why the rest of the league shouldn't quake with fear at the very mention of our name. After all, that which hasn't killed us has made us stronger. And faster. And hungrier. And I, for one, can't wait to gnaw on the bones of our enemies.*

*Wow, maybe I should talk to my doctor about some Xanax, or something. Haldol, maybe?

Game Day: DET @ PHX 1/2/10

2010-01-02T14:38:00.000-08:00

Finally, I'm back home and ready to roll. Or skate. Or really, just watch skating. It's been so long since I was able to watch a game live, I feel like it's September all over again. Which, when I think about the first half of this season, might not be a bad thing. It's the first game of 2010, and I'd be perfectly happy pretending that the ones that happened before this point actually, you know, didn't.

Still, I wasn't born to be a hater (in spite of all evidence to the contrary) so I'm planning to move forward toward the end of the season in the spirit of optimism. Beginning with my thoughts on the upcoming game. Plenty of other blogs do fabulous previews, so I'm just going to do a wish list.

Here are the things I want for tonight's game:

More righteous follow-through from Helm. I'm going to exercise my optimism by predicting that Thursday night marked the turning point for the Nightmare's breakaways and that from now on those shots get buried. Beginning with at least 1 point tonight
Ville Leino should become Bertuzzi to my Petrella and ramp up his play for at least 80% decent, two-way play and end in 1 goal and 1 assist
Datsyuk should show us all that he was just playing with us for the last 3 months and dangle himself silly to the tune of 1 spectacular goal
Bertuzzi should make at least one truly awesome offensive play, turn to the camera, and blow a wet sloppy kiss to TPL
Abby should hit someone hard enough to inspire at least one use of the phrase "Kronwall-lite"
Homer should remember that he's supposed to draw penalties, not take them, and that if he stays out of the box, he'll have the opportunity to tip in those goals that made him famous
Miller should show why he's on the 2nd line and Leino is on the 4th without resorting to the rude faces and finger gestures I personally would choose to use. He should also demonstrate to the 2nd line that whole "somebody's got to shoot the puck" thing that Uncle Mike keeps harping on. Result? Goal. And joy in my heart.
Jimmah should demonstrate to Ozzie (who I really do adore and hate to see suck) why #30's not going to get those starts he says he needs to get him into the groove until he takes one of the opportunities he's given and forces Babs to give him another one. Which means Jimmah should keep Phoenix to 1.
Final score? DET 4 - PHX 1

Like I said, that's my wish list. Let's see how kindly disposed towards me 2010 really is, shall we?

Go Wings.

Yzerman, Holland, & Babcock Totally Looking Out for Me

2009-12-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

I know I'm late, cause everyone has already seen it, but the full roster was just announced for the Canadian Men's Olympic Hockey Team, and as soon as I read it, I got a warm, tingly feeling inside. Why? Well, just looking at the names on the list reassured me that even with the bumps and bruises we've suffered this season, the Red Wings are still looking out for me. Steve, Kenny, and Mike have completely got my back. They know how hard it would be for me to juggle rooting for Team Sweden, Team USA, and Team Canada all at the same time, so they've saved me the heartache by putting together a Canadian roster completely populated by all of my least favorite players in the NHL. With the ice packed with players I loathe and despise, I can completely cross Canada off my list and concentrate on rooting for the Wings-packed Swedish roster with any leftover fan energy trickling down to my patriotic Team USA boys!

So to Misters Yzerman, Holland, and Babcock:

Thanks, guys! I couldn't have asked for more. I knew I could count on you. It's so sweet how you've always got my back.

Hugs and kisses!

Love, ChristineRWBNB

Meh

2009-12-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

That's the summary of my feelings right about now. I missed last night's game (damn Gary.ass and his network-bitch Versus) and went to see Sherlock Holmes instead. I hear that Jimmah played great until, you know, we got shut out in OT. I suppose I should be happy that we at least got a point, but meh to that, too.

In fact, I've decided to put an official and overarching meh on the first half of this season and take a break until the new year. Since the New Year's Eve game isn't on Versus, I technically could watch, but at this point, I think I'll just go to the NYE party I've been invited to and get drunk instead. Then I can put this half-season behind me and concentrate on getting excited about the returning players and all the points we're going to start picking up (knock wood, laminate, tile, ceramic, and any solid surface I can find) as we head toward spring and the playoffs.

Until then, meh to it all and hand me the champagne. Bring on 2010, bitches, and let the heads of our enemies begin to roll.

Let's go, Red Wings!!!

Are You KIDDING Me?

2009-12-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

From Ville Leino's own mouth:

“I’m not a player who is a fourth-liner and just works hard every day, only can concentrate on that. I’m not very good at that. It’s not my best thing on the ice.”

Can I even count the number of things wrong with that quote? Can I keep the vomit backing up into my mouth from spewing forth when I see that? Can I content myself with only one comment?

I'll try. And here it is:
That's what you think about hockey? You think the only guys who need to "[work] hard every day" are the 4th liners? You think you get to stay on the 1st or 2nd line if you don't work hard every damned day? Every damned shift?

That, my friend, is why you're riding pine. Again. Not because you're not scoring, but because you're not working hard. And frankly, I couldn't be more pleased.

Uncle

2009-12-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

I give. I have a Twitter account. @RedWhiteBNB. You know, if you care.

Ber-TUZ-zi! Ber-TUZ-zi!

2009-12-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

Oh, thank you, Todd, my darling love! I didn't get a chance to watch the game last night (the last one I'll miss due to this trip, thank God), but I so enjoyed reading the recaps. If we hadn't put this one in our pocket, I would have had to carry out the suicide-by-hanging-from-the-rails-over-the-tunnel threat. I was that depressed by the Chicago debacle(s).

And imagine my joy in hearing that Todd Bertuzzi was once again the hero of the night. The games where he saves the day are my new favorites, simply because I know that Petrella over at TPL will be taking crap for it for at least 24 hours afterward. And I'll get to read about it and giggle maniacally. That, my friends, is a total win!

I leave for the airport in a little less than 2 hours, and I'm totally ready. I can't wait for Monday's game. Not because it's the BJs again, but because of the irony that the first game once I'm back home is on Versus, which DirecTV is boycotting, so I won't even get to see it. But at least I can listen without family interference, damn it, and I intend to!

Happy Boxing Day!

2009-12-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

I didn't post yesterday, but I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and that the present Santa left under the Red Wings' tree is feeling happy, healthy, and ready to kick BJ butt in tonight's game. I want some points on the board and even more points in the standings. And to go home where there's NHL Network and Center Ice to keep me warm. Flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.

Let's Go Red Wings!!!

An Excellent Day for an Exorcism*

2009-12-22T16:39:00.000-08:00

In the dressing room of the Detroit Red Wings...

Mike Babcock, an air of intense concern underlying his death stare, peers out the door at the gathered crowd. He speaks, his voice low and urgent. "I need a young priest and an old priest."

The crowd parts and two figures, clad soberly in dark suits, step forward. Their red and white collars clash mildly with the purple stoles around their necks, but no one seems to notice, let alone mind. Babcock nods to them and steps aside to wave them in. "Stevie. Ted. Thanks for coming."

The Captain nods solemnly. "How could we not?"

Mr. Lindsay holds a battered black valise clasped in his age-weathered hands. "In your hour of need, we could never turn away."

Babcock nods. "Come in."

The dressing room door closes and all three men turn to survey the scene before them. Support and front office staff stand at the ready, looking weary ad worried. The entire Red Wings roster fills the dressing room. They sit before their numbers in front of the cubbies and appear to be bound to the benches. In the center of the room, so packed in that there isn't space to slip a sheet of paper between them, stands a row of 9 medical gurneys. Lilja, Cleary, Williams, Zetterberg, Filppula, Ericsson, Kronwall, Franzen, and Rafalski lie on the crisp white sheets, hospital restraints binding them in place.

As Babs, Stevie, and Ted approach, Hank raises his head and grins, his teeth bright among the wild tangle of his beard. His face appears scratched and infected and his skin has a gastly green tint. His upper body lifts off the table, but his left shoulder dangles sickly behind him. His voice cackles, rough and menacing. "What an excellent day for an exorcism."

The sound of maniacal laughter wells up from the other players, and Babcock shoves his hands nervously into his pockets. You'd never know by looking at his face. "Do you guys, you know, want some background first?"

Ted Lindsay shakes his head. "Why?"

The Captain places a commiserating hand on the coach's shoulder. "We already know, Mike."

"Number 9!" Franzen shrieks, laughing and struggling against his restraints, kneeing the air like a Rockette. "Number 9!"

"And he don't mean good ol' Gordie," Rafalski hisses. Blood dripsruns from the stitches on his upper lip as green mucus drips from his nose. "Number 9. We're 9th in the conference, boys. Out of the playoffs. Now kindly undo these straps."

Yzerman reaches into Lindsay's valise and takes out a tray of Holy Ice. He chucks a cube at the American defenseman. "Only for the moment. There are still plenty of points out there."

"Remember," Lindsay says, grasping the Captain by the arm and watching him intently, "avoid conversation with it. We can ask who it is, why it's here, but anything beyond that would be dangerous."

Yzerman removes a tatter Red Wings playbook from the large bag and hands it to Terrible Ted with a nod. "They've been quoting the media, saying they're through. That all that talk about dynasties was premature. They're saying they won't make the playoffs."

"41 points!" Cleary cackles.

"41!" the other players echo, and the chilling sound of evil raises gooseflesh on all those who listen.

"The demon is a liar." Lindsay opens the playbook, marking his place with a ribbon. "He'll try to confuse us with lies and will mix in the truth as an attack against us. It's a powerful psychological attack. Do not listen to him."

He makes a gesture and both retired Red Wings turn to face the players. The team struggles hard against their bindings and begins to growl, low and ominous.

"Let's begin." Lindsay holds up a hand. In it rests the game puck from 4 June 2008. "Save us, o' Hockey Gods, by your inscrutable power. By your might defend our reputation. Inferior teams have risen up against us. Teams of poor sportsmen and dirty bastards seek our playoff spot, but you can help us. Lord Stanley sustains our record and has delivered his cup to us 11 times. Glory be to the Red Wings."

Yzerman murmurs, "As it was in the beginning, was far from in the 70s, but shall be ever more."

A collective moan rises from the players. Several begin to scream Swedish, Russian, Finnish, or French-Canadian obscenities.

"Hear our cry for help," Lindsay continues, "and snatch from ruination and from the clutches of the injury bug this team of greatness. Take from them the game night borderline hits and the pernicious flu. Drive from them the snakebite of self-doubt and low confidence and cleanse them of malaise and lackluster performance. Let them once again strike terror into the heart of the beast, their rivals, and let the season of despair release this team from captivity.

Yzerman chucks ice cubes at the players, who recoil and writhe in pain. "Hockey Gods, you who gave to us the sacred Cup, entrusting it to your apostle, Lord Stanley, and through him to this team 11 times, grant this team pardon for their missed shots and lazy starts, for their performances in Sweden, and for the games they appeared to not take seriously. Give them the power to reach for number 12."

In the center of the room, Kronwall throws his body around the gurney with such force that all 9 of the wheeled tables shift more than a foot to the left. Babcock, Kenny Holland, Brad McCrimmon, and Jim Bedard rush forward and brace themselves on either end of the row, trying to hold the injured players in place.

"Keep going, Ted!" Mike Ilitch shouts from the corner of the room. "Stevie, keep going! I think it's working!"

"I command you to leave this team!" Lindsay yells, grabbing a handful of ice from Yzerman's tray and flinging it at the players on the gurneys even as Yzerman continues to pelt those on the benches. "Depart from these players now and never return!"

In front of his cubby, Ville Leino opens his mouth and spews a thick and vile green liquid onto Piet Van Zant and Paul Boyer. Pavel Datsyuk's head spins a slow 360-degrees, and shallow slices begin to appear on the face of a glowing-eyed Darren Helm.

"The power of the Cup compels you!" Lindsay shouts.

"The power of the Cup compels you!" Yzerman echoes.

One by one, the members of the front office and support staff join in the chant. "The power of the Cup compels you! The power of the Cup compels you!"

"Hockeytown compels you!"

"Hockeytown compels you!"

"The power of the Cup commands you!"

An enormous crash thunders through the room and the ground shakes as if an earthquake just struck downtown Detroit. There is a flash of blinding light and several hoarse shouts can be heard through the din.

When the room settles back into silence, people can be seem picking themselves up from the floor. The players on the benches sit or sprawl in boneless exhaustion and those on the gurneys lie quietly.

Rising slowly to his feet, Mike Babcock straightens his lucky tie and looks impassively at Lindsay and Yzerman. "Is that it? Is it over?"

Lindsay sighs and shakes his head. "For the moment."

"We've done all we can," Yzerman agrees. "That is, without resorting to human sacrifice. I mean, don't get me wrong, but I've done my part for the team. I won my Cups. I started the 18 year playoff run. I'm not ready to throw myself out a window, or down a stairway or anything."

"So we just wait for the next game and see what happens?"

Lindsay places the last of the ritual tools in the valise and snaps it shut. "That's up to you, Mike. But I can't deny that if it were me, I probably wouldn't be satisfied until I'd tried six ways from Sunday to fix things."

Babcock escorts them to the dressing room door and sighs as he reaches for the doorknob. His expression doesn't shift. "That's what I thought. Thanks for coming by, guys. We appreciate it."

Yzerman and Lindsay nod and leave. Babcock looks out over the crowd gathered outside. After a few seconds, he points to a dark figure dressed in a colorful tribal costume, complete with beads, feathers, and bones.

"You," he barks. "You're up next. Get in here."

The witchdoctor steps into the dressing room, where he and Babs disappear from sight. Outside, the crowd subsides with a murmur. The rabbi and the Orthodox priest return to their discussion, and the witch and the Native American shaman resume their game of chess. It had been an excellent day for an exorcism, but the night is still young. And there's still half the season to go...

*All due credit and thanks to William Peter Blatty and The Exorcist

Holding Up the Fort

2009-12-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

Since Christine is firmly within the loving bosom of her family in rural Tennessee ….okay, that sounds bad. Start over.

Since Christine is spending the holidays with her affectionate yet always appropriate family in a state far away, and has no access to this week’s games except through text messages and unreliable internet feeds, it falls to me to keep up with the blog. I, for those of you who do not know (and that’s pretty much all of you), am Christine’s roommate Hannah. I grew up in Michigan , and cut my teeth on the Red Wings (they were the Dead Wings back then – and now I have to go outside, turn around three times and spit to avoid the wrath of the hockey gods). Before me, and the 2008 playoffs, Christine had never watched a professional hockey game. The obsession that spawned this blog is, therefore, all my fault.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, I simply don’t have the memory to recap the weekend’s games the way she does, so my version of the post game roundup is going to be much shorter than you’re used to. Ready?

Saturday – we lost, not too badly, to Dallas . It sucked.
Sunday – we lost, very, very badly, to Chicago . It sucked out loud.

I could say more, but that’s really what matters, isn’t it? Now I am not a Negative Nancy by nature, and I truly believe our team can turn this season around. Indeed, I’m always reminding Christine (gently, so as not to draw the wrath often direction at the television screen upon my own head), of the following:

It’s only December – there are plenty of points still up for grabs
We’re down EIGHT starting players, most of whom will be back in January, all of whom should be back after the Olympic break, and our spring should look vastly different from our autumn/winter
Shared adversity strengthens a team

It’s number three that I think is most important. The hell hole we’re in right now with injuries has gotten to the point where I no longer think it’s insane to wonder if we’ve been cursed by some voodoo witch hired by Gary Bettman (that was for you, Christine), and it’s been nothing short of awful. But I’ve seen something start to happen in the last few weeks. Yes, I see frustration and despair on the faces of players and coaches alike, but I also see something starting to shine through it: determination. There’s a lot of talent, drive, skill, and heart on this team, and if all my years as a Red Wings fan have taught me anything, it’s that this organization, these players, they will not go gentle into that good night. And we, their fans, must back them up - we must, if you will, rage against the dying of the light.

Christine’s going to remind me I said that (and mock me for quoting Dylan Thomas) the next time I tell her to calm down as she’s "raging" at our television set. But that’s okay – she has what all devout followers must: a fierce dedication to her team, the passion to root them on, and the love that is tested but will stand during these trying times.

She also has a truly excellent repertoire of curses, and those always come in handy.

Home for the Hellidays

2009-12-18T15:24:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year, boys and girls, when the air begins to smell of wood fires and snowflakes, when the chill wind smacks some rosy-red color into your cheeks, when visions of sugar plums and buttered rum shooters dance in your head. And when I make my yearly pilgrimage to the South to do penance at the altar of My Mother.

I'm the baby of my family, which becomes a more ridiculous thought every year, but this fact makes my presence at The Family Christmas (tm) as necessary as the presence of the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner--there's no holiday without it. So say My Mother and my older sister, anyway. And they say it often. Every damned year. Beginning around the 4th of July.

Coincidentally, also like the Thanksgiving turkey, I end up feeling stuffed, plucked, roasted, and picked at for about a week.

Resistance, as you might guess, is futile. It's easier not to fight, but just to let go and allow myself to be assimilated. Thankfully, my parents are total winos, so at least there will be booze. What there won't be, though, is hockey.

I know, I know. Even the booze might not get me through this.

I get on a plane tomorrow morning, well before the ass-crack of dawn, and where I'm going, there's no Center Ice, no NHL Network, no Versus, no anything. I'm going to miss the Dallas game, BOTH Chicago games, and the Columbus game before I escape. Which means that I'll be relying on other Red Wings fans, Twitter, and the internet to keep me up to date on all the latest news and injuries. I'm predicting that by early Christmas morning, I'll be found clutching my netbook to my chest, drooling and twitching as my parents lameass internet connection attempts to download grainy, bootleg game footage from some blackmarket hockey site in Kyrgyzstan.

So, the point of all this is that I'm asking--no, begging--that my readers (all 3 of you... ok, ok, all 4 of you) do me a favor and give an extra "Let's Go Red Wings!" chant for me during each of the four games I'm missing. With Zetterberg out of action even longer than I'll be, I have a feeling we'll need all the help we can get.

Thanks. And Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Bright Yuletide. Whatever sparks your plugs.

Love,
Red, White, & Black'n'Blue

That's the Way. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

2009-12-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

Now this was the kind of game I like to see. A solid effort for 60 minutes. Or just about. Let's take a look-see, shall we?

Period 1
We had a bit of a slow start, but not nearly the way we have in other recent games. Instead of waking up half way through the period, we looked great by the five-minute mark, and kept it up through the first, even in the wake of disaster. More on that later.

Of course I have to give a shout out to Drew Miller for the awesome goal he put in off a long, high pass from Rafalski. Rafi looked like he mostly just meant to move it in deep, but Drew batted it out of the air, onto the ice, and into the net. I could have watched that over and over again. Even the Bobby Orr impression.

Now, of course, it's time to talk about #9. No, I don't mean Gordie Howe. I mean Henrik Zetterberg. Our 9th player out due to injury. Hank went down hard off a hit by Ohlund and was helped off the ice, not to return for the rest of the night. Wings fans around the globe will be haunting the internet for the next several hours looking for news on the extent of the injury. From what Babcock says, the shoulder that took the hit is the one in question. Zetterberg was able to drive himself to get an MRI, so I've got my fingers crossed it's not too serious. I could deal (maybe) with missing him for a couple of weeks. A couple of months would make me cry like a hungry baby.

Period 2
Oh, Leino. I yelled, I taunted, I begged. And yet you still suck. What more can I do? You shone for one brief moment later in the game, but I refuse to delete this because after all the disappointment you have caused me, you need more than 1 good play per game to make me eat my words.

Once again, it looked to me as if Datsyuk is still not his old self. He continues to have some great steals and good passes, but he's not what we've seen in the past. Are we ever going to find out what's up with him? Bert gave him an awesome feed in front of the net during a 4-on-4 and he bobbled it rather than shooting. Something bigger is going on with that boy than his wife’s homesickness.

And speaking of things that look different from last year, Mickey and Ken had a discussion about the fact that if Zetterberg were to miss any significant amount of time (Gods forfend), we would be 200 goals out from last year. 200 GOALS, and where are we? 8th* in the Western Conference. Who else could do that? What other team? No one. Cause we're the Red Wings, baby. Deal.

*Note, if we were in the East, 41 points would put us at 4th. Cause it's a candy ass conference.

Period 3
After two solids, I was a little afraid that we'd be overly cautious in the third, but once again, we played well and got two more goals to show for it. The first goal of the period was killer. Absolutely killer. Datsyuk made a great steal and fed it to Holmstrom, who passed in front of the net to Bertuzzi, who potted it. It gave me a total tingle. I love that kind of goal. I really, really do.

Then Eaves and Lidstrom sank another and I swear I heard choirs of angels singing. This game was a pleasure to watch, especially after all we fans have suffered through earlier this season.

And then even Leino had his moment. The only one he's had since Filppula was injured, I swear. He made a truly impressive spin move about 16 minutes in, totally confusing the Tampa players surrounding him. It was the first worthwhile thing I’ve seen him do in months. As my housemate Hannah described it, “he spun that guy around by the short hairs and left him in a puddle!” Now if only Leino would do that on a semi-regular basis (and actually sink the puck, too), I might have to apologize for all the nasty things I've said about him. And will continue to say until he gives me a reason to stop.

And go Jimmy Howard with your first shut out. Way to be, kid.

Two enthusiastic thumbs up for the Wings performance tonight. It left me in such a good mood, I might even be able to put the Zetterberg injury out of my mind until morning. Actually sleeping the night after a game would be a refreshing change of pace.

Even Gods Like Booty Shakes

2009-12-15T13:51:00.001-08:00

I presume it was my primitive ritual dance that persuaded the Hockey Gods to keep Ericsson's injury to a manageable deep bone bruise and calf sprain rather than making it an MCL or ACL tear. There's clearly no other explanation. Because the weeping, crying, bargaining, praying, and body part-crossing I did for all the other injuries this season made absolutely no difference to them. So yes, I am taking credit.

Turns out that Kenny is calling up Janik rather than Kindl, which of course makes sense when you think about their roles. Janik is a penalty killer, and that's the area where Ericsson's loss will be felt. So, I approve. What the hell, it's Kenny f'ing Holland; I'd approve if he called up Bozo the Clown, because I know he'd have good reason. I'd just have to listen to the games with a blindfold on. I don't. Do. Clowns.

Next up is Tampa, and I'm bracing myself. Two days off in a row haven't been the best thing for the Wings this year, but maybe the spirit of grinding it out will move them again. Here's hoping.

Go Wings!

Red, White & Black'n'Blue

2009-12-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

Is the naming of this blog a sin I should have confessed to the Hockey Gods over at Snipe, Snipe, Dangle, Dangle? Honestly, when I started, I was thinking of classic moments like the '97 fight against Colorado, or even the kind of punishing, open-ice hits Kronwall makes that give me a little tingle. THAT was the "black'n'blue" I was referencing, not this never-ending parade of injuries marching through our depth chart. I swear. I never meant to cause...this.

Tonight we pulled out the win against Phoenix, but I have a bad feeling that it came at the expense of Jonathan Ericsson. No word so far on the extent of the injury, but after seeing it on TV (and several times on DVR) I have a very bad feeling it might be an MCL or ACL tear, which would wrap up the season for him. Believe me I'm crossing my fingers, praying, lighting candles, and doing primitive ritual dances in hopes that it's nothing more than a bruise. But if the season so far is any indication...

I've heard some speculation on bring Ward in off waivers or inviting Chelios back, but I think it's much more likely that we're going to see Kindl back up from grand Rapids, and I'm actually fine with that. Hopefully, Kronner is back in 4 weeks or so, Cheli is not much of a realistic possibility given his age and the amount he played his last season with us, and I don't think Ward is worth the price. Kenny's already said he's not making trades, and if there's one thing I've learned in my time as a Wings fan, it's to always trust Kenny.

Just don't trust the Hockey Gods. Sneaky bastards.

Three In A Row

2009-12-14T18:56:00.000-08:00

...officially makes it a streak! Go Wings!!!

Okay, we're going to try something new here. If it sucks...well, no surprise there. But we're going to break it down by the periods.

First Period
Okay, coming into this game, who the heck would have predicted the first 5 minutes? I don’t mean the fact that 3 minutes in, Newbury gets his first penalty on his first shift as a Red Wing; I mean that a minute after Newbury's out of the box, he gets his first goal off a gorgeous feed by Draper (meant for Miller, but whatever). Not me, but I’ll take it. Of course, Newbury looked as shocked by it as the rest of the Joe did. He looked much more comfortable when he took another penalty just a couple of minutes later. Since the cameras got to spend so much time on him because of his surprising debut, I discovered that Newbury's real contribution was comic relief. He was cracking me up, just because he looks constantly either confused or like he’s about to cry. Maybe both. I actually think it’s just his face, though.

In summary, the first 10 minutes were a big improvement over our recent starts, and I'd like to see that continue in future games.

I also have to give a shout out to that shorthander by Eaves off a hell of a wrister. I’ve been begging for one of those for weeks now. And let me tell you, it felt damned good.
What didn't feel so good was the latest edition to our hit parade of injuries. Raise your hand if you vomited when Rafi and Dats had to help Ericsson off the ice. And for Phx to get a goal off it made it doubly nauseous. How do you not get a whistle when a guy is down in the fetal position and clearly not able to get up? Yes, I know the whistle doesn't have to blow until the Wings get possession, but that's really a call at the discretion of the refs. Which means the Wings get screwed. You're right. I should just expect that.

2^nd Period
Hearing that Ericsson was definitely out for the rest of the night did not get things off to a very good start, but thankfully the Wings seemed determined to keep up the pace for at least the beginning of the period. Actually, the pace was a little crazy at the start of the period. The back and forth was pretty intense. But honestly, the momnet that made me label the period crazy town was Meech's shot from the blueline that just skated right on past Bryzgalov's catching glove. I mean seriously. Meech?

Eaves threw down another impressive performance. I've really been happy with his play both on and off the 3rd line. Actually, I think a serious portion of our kids, call ups, and new signings have been making themselves quite valuable for us. It makes me think that I really do not want to be Kenny or Uncle Mike when the stars start coming back and it’s time to make some roster decisions.

You know, if we ever get everyone healthy.

3^rd Period
Damn, the 3^rd period was UGLY. But we came up with the win, which is the bottom line. I’m still waiting to see a full 60, though. The last 25 minutes saw way too much of us circling the wagons and waiting for the end of the game instead of moving forward and shoving the puck down the throat of the opposition. Which is, of course, what I want to see. What I don't want to see is all of the time chasing the puck instead of controlling it, or all of the time spent in our defensive zone. I spent a lot of the third yelling at the TV about it looking like we were on a penalty kill when we were actually at full strength. That needs to change. Clearly.

Anyway, that's how I saw it. I definitely like making it a streak, but I want to see that streak continue. Without further injuries, please.

I'm just sayin'.

Get Thee to A Website!

2009-12-14T15:28:00.000-08:00

You must go here: The Obstructed View.

You must listen. You must subscribe.

The power of Christ compels you!*

*Sorry. Had a little The Exorcist moment there. I'm better now. Would you care for some split pea soup?

Tonight: Phoenix vs. Grand Rapids

2009-12-14T13:41:00.000-08:00

Seriously, that's about what it amounts to now that Helm is down with a wrist injury and Kris Newbury has been called up to replace him. I think if any player gets hurt tonight, Ken Holland and Mike Babcock are just gonna start waving in guys from the stands. Anyone in a Wings jersey who can still see his feet when looking down over his stomach will strap on skates and pads and take a spot on the power play.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure the power play would be much worse off if that happened.

In anticipation of the 7:30 puck drop (4:30 me time), I've got booze chilling by the gallon and some Halcyon I hoarded from my last dental work. I'll try to remember not to take both of them, because I don't want to miss it when our injuries finally start coming back. You know...eventually.

I Sing A Chorus...

2009-12-12T19:06:00.000-08:00

...of BULLSHIT.

The 2nd Nashville goal made me crazy, not because the Wings didn't have a part in that goal, because you don't quit until you hear the whistle anf you don't leave your goalie to face a 3-on-1. But the refs sucked. The whistle should have blown, because that puck hit Bert before he was off the bench. If they weren't going to whistle it as out of play, then they should have whistled the Wings for too many men on the ice. You can't have it both ways, boys. That's not how it works. Or at least, that's not how it's supposed to work.

And if that hadn't been enough, the fact that less than two minutes later, there was yet another Nashville punch to a Wing that wasn't called pissed me the f*&! off. During the 2nd intermission, Sullivan actually had the gall to say that Nashville wasn't getting all the calls they thought they should have and I think I laughed out loud.The sheer number of cheap moves Nashville made that weren't called nearly put the poultry to shame. I counted at least half a dozen blatant kicks and punches they threw at various Wings that never got called, so it was either laugh or shoot someone. And unlike Nashville residents, I don't actually own any firearms.

The flurry that ensued after that ridiculous goal in the third, though, was amazing. Shots everywhere, on both sides of the ice. It amounted to an intense period which led to a supremely satisfying overtime win. Where once again, Bertuzzi became our hero!

I'm going to have to grow past my mild inherited antipathy toward him.

Other than that, I was much too focused on screaming about the dirty play to notice much. Except that Leino showed a little more improvement tonight. A little more hustle and a little more grit, but honestly what I liked most was the chemistry he seemed to have with Abdelkader. Those two looked really good together and had a couple of good chances, especially early in the second. I would not be adverse to seeing them stay together until Filppula gets back.

And with that, I'm going to go bask in the glow of another 2 points. Let's hope we can stay on this trajectory for another game or 2. Or 30.

Go Wings!!!

Pointless Recap

2009-12-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

I say pointless because I'm so late in getting it out that really everything that needs to be said has already been said by superior bloggers. But then I realized that's true even when I post 5 minutes after the game ends, so what the heck. I can do pointless.

Thankfully, though, the Wings were not pointless last night, for a change. They pulled out 2 by clinching it over the Ducks in overtime. Thank gods for Todd Bertuzzi. And how weird is that?

Todd Bertuzzi celebrates his overtime game-winning goal with Henrik Zetterberg. Bertuzzi also netted the game-tying goal midway into the third period. (Kirthmon F. Dozier / DFP)

So, here's what I saw:

We really have trouble starting on time, don't we? Even when we're skating hard in the 1st, it seems like we're skating without purpose. Moving our feet without quite knowing where we're moving them to. We need to get a handle on that, yes?
Jimmy Howard had another solid game, with with notable (and much noted) exception of the second goal. But like others, I think the important thing was that he bounced back from that weak miss and didn't let it throw off his game. Like a real NHL goalie!
Dats and Z... Oh, dear. Where have our boys gone? I miss them. Dats needs to ease up on his beautiful dangling to, you know, shoot the puck once in a while. And Z needs to work on his aim, which is not what it once was, one might say. Both of them seem to need new sticks, 'cause WTF?
Abby did a good job, with the exception of being the worst face-off man, well, ever. Maybe he can get some one-on-one practice time with Drapes and sort that out, because right now he's abysmal. But he really worked his tail off, and that's going to take him a long way. In a few years, I think he's going to be a hell of a player. And I loved him for continuing to whale on Perry even after he was on his back on the ice.
Leino got a point. So, yay him. Am I bowled over? Not quite. Yes, I will admit there was some improvement in his game, but seriously it wasn't like he could have gotten all that much worse. Last night was a better outing than he's had previously, but he still needs to step it up if he's going to come close to fulfilling this team's expectations.
Homer is my hero. I've always loved him, but this season I adore him all the more for stepping up at exactly the right times and generally playing like he's shed about 5 years.
Wish we could have sewn this up before the end of regulation, but I'll take 2 points and stop whining. At least until tonight's game against the Bubba.
Go, Bert. Keep it up and I'll become your newest defender. And stay right there at the side of the net all 60 minutes every night if you can keep throwing them in from there.

That's about it. We're up again tonight, when Ozzie will presumably take his spot in the net once again. Please let him be the old Ozzie I know and love and not the "think I'll let in a goal in the first 2 minutes" Ozzie I know and hate.

Go Wings!!!

You're Kidding, Right?

2009-12-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

I laugh. I cry. I taste gunmetal.

Cleary's out.

Dear God, Ville, PROVE ME WRONG!!!

Trust me, I'm not too proud to beg.

Ugh

2009-12-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

I just...

I just can't. I hurt. In my heart, in my soul, and by morning, in my head. After I finish off this bottle of Scotch.

Ville-nization

2009-12-07T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, this post may make it seem like I have some sort of personal axe to grind with Ville Leino, that I dislike him as a human being and think that he tortures kittens and leers at small boys and lights nursing homes on fire in his spare time. So, to be fair, let me state that I don't think any of these things. What I think, is that it's time for him to "nut up, or shut up."

A lot of people seemed to think that Leino would be a big part of our success this season, that he would step in for the loss of a player like Hudler, or at least Samuelsson, and make the off-season defections nearly a wash in terms of production.

Yeah, hasn't happened.

PHOTO: REUTERS IMAGES

So why did people think this? Well, Leino played with us last season, and man, he was on fire. In 13 regular season games, he put up 9 points (5G, 4A) and was a +5 with only 6 penalty minutes. His shooting percentage was 29.4. Yes, you read that right. He followed this up with 7 playoff appearances that cleared no goals, but managed 2 assists, a +2 rating, and no time in the box. Pretty respectable for a new kid. So was that what we should be expecting from him now that he's permanently up with the big boys? I'd like to think so.

But...

I haven't seen it yet this season. Trust me, I was looking. Especially at the beginning. I wanted Ville to succeed. After all, the more success he had, the more success we could expect the Wings to have. What's not to love about that? But instead, I've seen the 25 year old Leino being out-skated, out-shot, and out-efforted (Yeah, I make up words. Suck it up.) by two 22-year-old kids who only the die-hard fans were talking about during the off season, one of whom wasn't even supposed to make the roster this year: Darren Helm and Justin Abdelkader.

Consider the evidence:
In the same number, or fewer, games than Leino, Helmer and Abby have each put up the same or better numbers in terms of production. They've been better defensively. And just from watching them play game-in and game-out, I've seen better and more consistent effort out of each of them. The only things Leino has to show for himself are the ability to stay out of the box and a slightly higher shooting percentage. Yet the younger kids have anchored the 3rd and 4th lines, while Leino has been mostly hopping back and forth between lines 1 and 2.

Helm has actually totaled more TOI than Leino, but that's likely a reflection of the fact that his line has consistently been the hardest working on the ice and Babcock had been willing to recognize that. But Abdelkader's equal or slightly better stats have come while he averaged just under 12 minutes per game to Leino's 15 (11:57.6 vs 15:01.8). So who is it we should be looking to this season? The kid who was supposed to slide right into a solid support role, or the kid who was supposed to spend the season in Grand Rapids?

Don't get me wrong. I'd love it if Leino went on a tear, pumped up his numbers, and proved me to be a total nimrod. That would be great, because the Wings would likely wrap up a few more wins in the process. But I'm looking at Leino's play this season and his stats back in GR, and I'm comparing those to Helm's and Abdelkader's play this season and their stats back in GR, and frankly, I think that painting Leino as the Hope of a New Generation might have been a tad premature. His run last year was phenomenal, but was that what we should expect to be his norm, or was it a fluke? At the moment, I'm leaning toward fluke.

Go ahead, Ville. Prove me wrong.

Please.

Hallelujah

2009-12-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

I'm just beyond relieved that we won. And in regulation, too. Will wonders never cease? Okay, so I'm bitter, but that's okay, because I'm happy. I am a conundrum.

Here's what I saw:

I am so glad Ville Leino was benched. Hell, if I were Babcock, I'd bench him AND call someone up from Grand rapids (Tatar, anyone?) just to scare the shit out of him. Or into him. Whichever works. Frankly, I think just getting him off the ice helped our game.
Is it me, or did we spend a good chunk of the 1st period just looking...confused? I mean, we looked like we were trying, but just had no idea what the other guys on our team were doing.
One of these days Mickey and Ken are going to give up the pretense and just hit the bong right there in the announcers booth.
Ericsson, SERIOUSLY! Okay, I'm going to take a deep breath here. I don't think Ericsson lacks potential. I think he could become a decent player. Be he needs to stop being an idiot.
Another night where I yelled over and over "That should have been IN!!!"
Wow, our power play sucked at times tonight.
About time, Pasha! Thank you!
This seemed like a fairly lackadaisical game. Because I lack the motivation to come up with a better excuse, I'm going to go with Mickey and Ken and blame it on bad ice because of the earlier basketball game.
Damn it, Pasha, SHOOT THE DAMNED PUCK!
That empty netter was fun. Winning was more fun.

All in all, I have a hard time arguing with a win. I thought we were a little slow, but so were the Rangers, so I'll blame the ice. I think keeping Leino off the roster made us better, and what does that say? I think finally benching him might have helped Uncle Mike feel more comfortable shaking up the top 2 lines, and that seemed to help, too.

No matter how you call it, I'm just going to pocket the win and put away the booze before my liver explodes.

Less Painful than It Could Have Been?

2009-12-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

Well, we didn't win, but at least we played. And we managed to get 1 point, so it could have been worse. And lately, often has. I burn with impotent rage at having to settle for that.

So here is my free-form recap. I vow that I will attempt to come up with a format as soon as the Wings win 3 in a row. (Ha. Suckers.)

How pathetic is it that I'm excited to be able to write we made it a whole minute without giving one up? Especially with Ozzie in net. And I've always been an Ozzie supporter. *sigh*
Bertuzzi is still annoying me. Was that his first touch that he gave the puck away on?
Holmstrom showed some nice hustle early. I like that. I love that he's playing like five years ago again.
If Helm could pocket 1/2 of the sots he makes, we'd be at the top of the league right now.
Is Babcock proof of your mother's assertion that your face would freeze like that?
God, I almost died when Helm got hit in the leg. My life flashed before my eyes. You can't take my Helmer!!! I'm convinced he's currently the only thing keeping up from getting whipped like a red-headed step-masochist.
And then Eaves went down, and I began to savor the taste of gun metal.
Can we stop falling down, now? Please?
Apparently, it's cheap shots on the Wings night. Have the Devils been throwing punches as a form of defense, or is it just me?
Lovely. Bullshit calls once again. If that was a hand-pass, I'm a six foot tall black man with a full beard and lobster claws for hands.
Love that Draper goal. There's another player this season working like he's suddenly five years younger.
You know, I think that even if I weren't a Wings fan (impossible, I know, but bear with me here) I'd still want to watch FS Detroit broadcasts of the games just to listen to Mickey Redmond. The man is out of his mind, but funny.
I see Ericsson is back to tripping over his own feet. Or, rather, his own ineptitude. I think he proves the fact that being big is not necessarily all it takes to be a defenseman.
Shoot, Pavel! Just SHOOT DAMN IT!!!
Holy shit! A Power Play Goal! I thought we forgot how to score those!
Mickey called Homer "Mr Demolition Man." I like that.
I know you can get away with a lot on Holmstrom, but sitting on his back will thankfully still get you a penalty.
And bless Patrick Eaves' little soul. I love that our kids are really making a place for themselves. Also, I am so far liking Kindl. He can stay. For now.
Wow. "Let's go Devils" sounds just like "Let's go Assholes" when chanted at top volume.
Damn it. I hate OT, but not nearly as much as I hate shoot outs.
Why, OH WHY, would you put Leino, who can't bury the puck with a shovel so far this season, on the shoot out?
And that's why I hate shoot outs. *sigh*

The wine* I drank during the game helped dull the pain, but I was braced for a lot worse. We at least looked like we cared for most of the game, and that does count for something. My new theory is that someone has placed a curse on Lidstrom. I mean, look at his play so far. This is not The Perfect Human we know and love. No, he doesn't suck, but he isn't playing like we know he can, either. I think the curse on him is holding him back and spilling over on the rest of the team. Once he breaks it (by scoring) the evil witch doctor will die and we'll climb out of the basement and sing the soundtrack to the new Disney flick. Or something. Christ, what do you want from me? I'm grasping at straws, here!

*Normally, I believe beer goes better with hockey, but I also find it much more filling, and I anticipated needing a LOT of alcohol.

Do Over

2009-12-03T19:21:00.000-08:00

That's right. I'm calling it. I want a do over on this season. Tomorrow I will wake up, it will be a new day, the sun will shine again, and perhaps an ember of hope will rekindle in my heart.

Maybe.

But for tonight, I'm just going to crawl into my bed, pull the covers up over my head, cradle a bottle of Scotch to my chest, and decide that this season isn't happening. It's a nightmare. A painful figment of my imagination. I got home late from an unexpectedly arduous hike with my dog just in time to see that the score was 4-1. That's when I turned off the TV and reached for the Dalwhinnie. And found out Ericsson is now "day-to-day" with an injured left knee.

And that's when I called for a do over. I want to stop this season right here, erase the record, and start over. With a healthy roster, a consistent goalie, and a burning need for the cup. Until that happens, I'm going to go to sleep.*

Night, y'all.

*Technically, I'm only going to sleep til about 8 AM tomorrow, December 4, 2009. But with luck, that will mark the beginning of our new upswing. Please god.

Dear Lord, What's Next

2009-12-02T14:20:00.000-08:00

Jakub Kindl has been recalled to "potentially" replace Rafalski, who's apparently battling a bad back. Maybe if Rafi hadn't made this move back in September...

PHOTO: via http://hockeytown.tumblr.com/page/2

If one more defenseman gets hurt this season, I think we'll deserve a rules amendment that allows us to place landmines under the ice in crucial spots of our defensive zone. Just to even the playing field.

Man, I need a drink...

Don't Mean A Thing If It Don't Wear the Wing(ed Wheel)

2009-12-01T19:33:00.000-08:00

Damn it, now I'm getting songs stuck in my own head.

Okay, so rest assured that this will remain a Red Wings blog. I have no intention of dignifying Little Gary's League by spouting off about just any ol' NHL news that happens to come along. But once in a while, every once in a while, I'll have to take a short detour away from Motown to mention something about something other than the Wings.

Rest assured, this will almost always be prompted by an upwelling of bitterness and vitriol in what passes for my soul.

Today's rant--Alexander Ovechkin Received a Two Game Suspension.

I'm fine with the suspension, which I believe fits perfectly in the grand scheme of the NHL's official suspension policy. Ovechkin deserved it. When Kronwall got hit on the 21st, I think we all agreed that a suspension in a similar situation was necessary, since it's not at all cool to stick your knee out on another player.

What I'm not fine with is, a) that the reason Ovechkin got 2 games probably has more to do with the fact that he's Ovechkin than that the guy he hit managed to skate in the next game, and b)his own damned coach was quoted in print talking about how he "admires" Ovechkin.

Why do these things piss me off? Because players like Ovechkin (who I realize is talented, don't get me wrong) seem to be growing more and more common in the NHL. Players who are treated like rock stars so often that they begin to believe their own shit doesn't smell. Gary is determined to make the NHL into a league of superstars instead of a league of teams. He pimps players like Ovechkin and Rosby until their damned dicks must be chapped, while real, talented stars like Datsyuk and Zetterberg and Lidstrom have the class not to read their own press aloud before bed every night, thus preserving their modesty and getting about 1/100th of the accolades.

One of the reasons why my love for hockey took root so deeply and so fast was because the hockey I love is a team sport. It's not basketball with a bunch of rich assholes showing up on the society pages as often as the sports pages. It's not football with idiots going to prison for running dog fighting rings out of their backyards. It's hockey, and it's about hard work and skill and sweat and communication. And I, for one, don't want that to change.

Yes, I realize that sounds ridiculously idealistic. I mean, we have Patrick Kane getting arrested for punching cabbies and Sean Avery choking on his own damned kneecap when his stupidity works faster than his mouth, but those incidents seem to happen a lot less often in our sport than in the other major American sports. And the NHL at least has the courtesy to express disapproval most of the time.

And how often do you ever see a Red Wing involved in that kind of garbage?

Dallas 1 @ 4 Detroit

2009-11-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

I watched this game armed with liquor, just in case the Wings decided to make Saturday's game look like a fluke, so forgive me if this recap is a little disjointed. Actually, to hell with you. If you're reading this blog, you deserve a disjointed review. *hiccup*

OMG (irony intended) we scored first! Let me squeal like a fourteen year old baptist (of either sex) at a Jonas Brothers concert
Once again, aside from Zetterberg (and one notable moment for Datsyuk) the 3rd and 4th lines remained the most noticeable. I leave the conclusions drawn from that to be...concluded...by, you know, others.
Per the above, take that for us not having the same depth on this year's roster, bitches
First few minutes of the 2nd period had me pounding a few ounces of alcohol, but thankfully things settled down toward the middle and cruised toward the 2nd intermission. I always appreciate that
Seriously, though, can we make a few PPs count now and then?
I recently commented on a superior blog that I didn't think we should convert to a team full of Darren Helms, should cloning become a practical choice. However, let me amend that by saying that a special team of penalty killing Helmers? I could live with that.
Zetterberg remains the hardest working man on ice. He's like Helm, only with a better shot.
Um, since I seem to be on a roll here, is Pasha getter slower on his skates, or is it just that watching Helm rocket past the rest of the squad, the opposition, Apolo Ohno, and Dan Jansen makes everyone else look slower?
Dear Lord, I'm all over Todd Bertuzzi. I will take back everything I've said about him the past couple of weeks if he just keeps playing like tonight. That 3rd period goal? Sweet!
I have to say it always surprises me seeing Zetterberg in the Box. He's just so...Swedishly nice that i don't expect him to take penalties
It freaks me out a little when I have to say things like "Jimmy Howard looked solid"
Mickey and Ken's in-depth debate of skate guards...were they even listening to themselves or were they as bored and baffled by that conversation as I was?
Ericsson really is looking better. I haven't seen him trip over his own gigantic feet in, like, a couple of games now
Meech? Not sucking. Reminds me that he was on the '08 championship team.

So, those were the biggies. Or the made-it-through-the-alcohol-haze-ies. Hope y'all enjoyed the game. I know I always enjoy the wins. Sure beats the alternative.

Faith Is Good. Winning is Better.

2009-11-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

I'm weak. I admit it. I turned off the game after the first period and wallowed in liquor and DVDs and house guests last night. I just couldn't face the prospect of watching another debacle. So of course, I missed the come back.

My First Reaction: SHIT!!! Ah, well. Serves me right.
My Second Reaction: Clearly, they won because I didn't watch.
Now I'm gonna have to miss all the rest of the games!

I'm not sure either is correct (though I lean more toward the first...at least, intellectually I do; what superstition tells me is another matter), but I was kinda pissed that I had to resort to scouring the net and sitting through the idiocy of most of the NHL On the Fly broadcast in order to see the highlights. Still, that tic-tac-toe play that Drapes made count and that tying goal by Zetterberg were things of beauty, and it pains me to have missed them live.

But really, it didn't much matter to me when or how the goals went in, or who put them there. I'm just thankful they didn't get waved off. Now I can maybe sleep nights again.

Though I do have to give props to Jimmy Howard. For a kid who made me shake in my boots a few short weeks ago, he's getting to the point where I no longer clench my sphincter every time I see him in net. So, good for you, Jimmah!

Let's try to keep this up tomorrow when Dallas comes to town.

And the Angels Wept

2009-11-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

I missed the puck drop due to the need to take my insane 100 lb. puppy to the dog park before the exuberance of one of his "desperate for exercise" leaps onto the sofa resulted in a broken rib for me. When I turned the game on at minute 5 and saw the score was already one-nothing, I should have just turned it off and saved myself the heartache. But then my deep-seated sense of masochism kicked in.

Here are my observations. May the Hockey Gods have mercy on my soul. (Please.)

The goal with Cleary screening Kiprusoff. WTF? How is screening the goalie interference? The only thing interfered with on that goal was my ability to maintain my normally low blood pressure. That had the have been the dumbest call since...well, since Brad May's disallowed goal nine days ago.
Speaking of which, will any of our goals ever count again? I'm just asking, because after being shut out on Wednesday, it left me a mite perturbed to see two of our goals waved off in one game. Call me kooky.
I try not to expect unreasonable perfection from the Red Wings; I only want a reasonable amount of perfection. Like the kind involved in not passing the puck to no one. Seriously. Is that so much to ask? Can we try only passing the puck to another player? Better yet, can we try only passing to a player on our own team? Please?
As a corollary to the above, can we try not to create camera shots that leave me watching a screen full of opposing team players without a single Wings sweater in sight? That would be nice. As would actually having someone close enough to the opponents' net to catch a rebound now and then.

Those were my observations through period two. By period three, I stopped observing much of anything other than the insides of my eyelids as I sat on my sofa alternately weeping/gnashing my teeth and rocking myself back and forth to the tune of the old folks songs my mother used to sing me to sleep with.

The thing is, I have faith in this team, gods help me. I really do. They're too good for me not to have faith. Eventually this spiral of despair and shame in which we seem trapped with end. I'd just really like it to be soon.

Like, last month.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

On this American holiday about the death of a culture at the hands of brutal oppression and Thanksgiving, I have only one thing to say: I'm thankful there's no game today.

I have neither the emotional nor the psychic energy to say a thing about last night's game. Well, except that all those who told us that goal tending was the thing we'd have to worry about this year...um, not so much. Our goal tending is just fine; it's everything else that's fallen apart. I actually didn't watch the entire game, because I didn't have the heart. Also I was trying to evict some invading mice from my garage. Sigh. I'm having a really rough week.

Anyway, I hope all you Americans have a Happy Thanksgiving. Maybe if we all wish really hard over the turkey wishbones in the nation, we'll win a game tomorrow.

Or, you know, eventually.

Oy to the Vey

2009-11-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

I've been sleeping a lot lately. TV commercials would have me believe that this is a sign of chronic depression and that I should immediately begin taking a medication that will cause me to become suicidal in order to combat my symptoms, but I know the truth. The Wings are just tiring me the faux* out.

I missed last night's game, since while I spend a ba-jillion dollars on DirecTV and Center Ice, I don't have the "privilege" of watching those games aired on Versus, aka GBVTV (Gary Bettman's Vanity TeleVision). Really, the main reason this ticked me off was because I really wanted to see Mac lose his broadcasting cherry, but it annoyed me to miss the game. At least until I saw the results online. Honestly, I should have known. The Versus Curse means that the Wings must lose any and all games aired on that network, but sometimes I'm a naive little optimist. What can I say?

Missing the game means I really have no right to comment on anyone's play, but when has that ever stopped me? I feel compelled...Nay, I feel morally obligated to echo the observations of so many other, superior, bloggers--Todd Bertuzzi is making Pavel Datsyuk look like an average player, and for that, he must die.

Seriously, I'm a supporter of Uncle Mike for the most part. I think he's doing his job, and making a decent effort at keeping our asses kicked this season in an attempt to get us to realize that we're going to have to WORK for our successes this year. But what the hell was he smoking when he decided to put Bertuzzi on that top line? Because I'm starting to think he nipped it from a private stash normally reserved for NHL referees and people who think Rosby is the next Gretzky.

(Excuse me for a minute. Typing those names so close together just made me throw up in my mouth.)

Bert's gotta move. He's becoming a frickin' millstone around Pasha's neck. I won't go so far as to say he needs to be dropped altogether (I try not to ever be dumb enough to say Kenny Holland could make an actual mistake), because in spite of general idiocy, he has generated some chances and hasn't looked like a stooge in every single minute he's been on the ice. But he needs to come off that line before bloggers like me start staging hang-ins, in which we show up at the games and in a coordinated ballet of synchronized movements, jump off the over-tunnel railings with skate laces tied around our necks. I'd rather see fucking Maltby on that first line, and if that doesn't speak of my desperation, I don't know what would.

Anyway, I know the chances of me getting my wish are slim, but I need to put it out there, on the off chance that the Hockey Gods might be in a benevolent mood.

Hey, a fan can dream.

*If this makes no sense to you, go read this right now. Actually, do that anyway. It's a better blog than this and always will be.

Dallas Stars @ Detroit Red Wings

2009-11-18T08:20:00.000-08:00

It's Dallas tonight. Currently they're only 1 pt behind us in the conference, so here's to another 2 pts of cushion. Not that I want to count my chickens or anything (personally, I'm not a big fan of poultry that hasn't been breaded, seasoned, and fried), but I've got my fingers crossed for this one. I can't say that I ever take a Wings loss well, but something inside me shrivels and weeps whenever we drop one to a team from a southern state. In the alternate dimension where I rule the universe, no city without an average of two snowfalls per winter may host a professional hockey team. Originally, it was no city south of the 42nd parallel, but it's been argued that might be a titch too restrictive. I don't get that.

Anyway, puck drop is at 7:30 eastern. I might be able to catch the first few minutes of the 1st period, but I'll have to DVR the rest while I head out to a concert. Great Big Sea is playing tonight, and I am so all over that, especially since tonight, every time they play an Irish tune, I'll dedicate it in my head to Shanny.

Go Wings!!!

Wings 7 - Ducks 4

2009-11-15T13:27:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who sees the telecast come back from the period break and holds my breath waiting to see which Wings will re-emerge from the dressing room? This split personality thing is getting crazy. I was hoping that the last two games against Columbus and Vancouver were the signal that we'd shaken off the rough start to the season and were ready to buckle down and play 60-minutes a night. Ah, the naivete! Clearly, while this team is more than capable of posting consecutive 60-minute efforts, they'd rather fuck with my head and follow up a solid first with a cringe inducing second (I really hope someone smacked Jonathan Ericsson upside the head after that pass. You know which one.) and a third that alternates between brilliance and chaos.

I'm tough, though. I can take it. We have to be honest here. None of us should have expected us to skate out the door on October 3rd looking equal to the teams of the last two seasons. Too much changed over the summer for that. Personally, I feel that this year's team is packed with more talent that last year's (deserters be damned) and easily the equal of the mighty 2008s. But the changes meant that we'd need to get to know each other, take some time to work out the kinks, develop the chemistry, and get into the groove. I think we've done that, much to the chagrin of all the naysayers who've spent the last 5 months or so predicting that our time is past.

Past, my ass.